0:00 thank you [Music] and welcome back to another awesome episode of the careful boys where we are currently oh well for off the record with all Anthony days nice we're not acknowledging our amazing guest Hannah doing my best trying really hard do you like that intro I gotta impromptu uh have some fun with this uh oh yeah she's like this we got this in Mexico together yeah we did you you could have stopped this and you didn't she encouraged it yeah they were doing it no you don't get one and I'm like she goes I know you want one and I was like
0:50 it made him so happy and I was doing that all day I feel like Nobody Does it quite like you you know I would love to do for the fans I'm just gonna just go on a whim here I'm gonna go ahead and request to switch seats with Joe for a second because we want to get them in the same frame yeah oh lovers kiss kiss because I don't know what's happening we just we just gotta endorse this chemistry there's no way we're not gonna have him your ass is warm oh really that's your ass is now yours is too yours is actually not that warm why is this so regular cold so what does this mean it's all the ice training all right so we're gonna go into a session of couples counseling for these two oh and I just want to make sure everybody's got their questions and their advice we're on the verge of breaking up okay yeah so uh let's just just start with a couple basic questions I want you guys both uh
1:41 answer at the same time don't look at each other or anything like that we're just gonna ask some basic questions I'm gonna count down three two one and then you both have to answer immediately let's just see if we're on the same page okay okay okay and um let's make it easy do you want children yes okay cool how many children three two one go three that's very good yeah okay and uh what uh biological gender first girl boy three two one go I say go okay oh like I could choose is there a reason why you want I I think the dining store is good um how so I see what you mean I think girls take care of the the whole yeah I think so too I think like based on my
2:34 experience but it's a different relationship between an older sister and younger siblings to an older brother did you have is there is your oldest sibling uh male or female male experience I wish it was the other way did you feel like you had an extra parent than a brother no because we're very close in age like we've only like I think my mom had all of us four kids in like four and a half years wow age isn't like big enough for it to be but I felt like me and my mom's relationship I like cool I think a girl would be good for slavery reasons because um she expand on that what if you just stopped for slavery reasons next question next question unanimously and don't ask me about that moving on because girls they'll take
3:26 care of the kids okay wow so it was actually on brand exactly what we thought because they'll treat them like dolls I did that who is more sexually dominant three two one go me yeah you yeah you probably there's a little hesitation there I think it depends on the day that's true okay then who is more sexually creative three two one go me oh no actually no I think I lean into it more but you come up with the idea okay so what's what how are you more creative I don't know like Who's down to do weirder stuff yeah I think he comes up with ideas like what like outfits things like that I like enact it what kind of outfits she's wearing an octopus costume
4:18 but she's like a fashion designer so she made it herself you know it's like Perfect characters or lingerie both but I think like he comes up with the ideas what are you talking about yeah octopus yeah sometimes I like to structure it out too like I like a to-do list of songs what's like a what's like a I like her sex checks we're gonna take a bath because imma scrub you and after that I will come over here I'm gonna lick your balls first I would do that and I'll be like that's a dope checklist do you guys ever use food inside looks I don't like food in bed it doesn't like food in bed oh that's right continue an issue for us so you would like to use food but he doesn't like I'm gonna use whipped cream do it on the couch yeah I don't need that ████ huh naked sushi man
5:09 oh dude that would be amazing you guys just turn into like having a dinner instead of sex oh yeah we'll just eat strawberries and we just end up like let's put on a show exactly strawberries are good what city do you ultimately want to settle down three two one three cities-ish no three City wait three cities what city what city I don't know if it's like I think ultimately we'll stay in America probably oh really I think so oh really I think oh you you sound like you have a thought out how come you said oh really he will go with what I want ultimately I think he's like oh really I think he would I feel like you've always talked about like in the UK for the healthcare you know what I'm saying well I think I would pop well so right my thinking is
5:59 that I think he wouldn't be as happy in the UK because the weather because his friends are here friends like family and I think like I like it here I feel like I fit in in yeah yes yes yes [Applause] like these ████ don't yes I don't know how you would do in the UK I think people would like you but I mean as in like I don't know how you would like I have friends there and I make friends way quicker than you do you do but I think knowing but I would miss my friends I think so I for me the reason why I answered the way I did is because it's in different stages of my life it will be dependent on that so like I could totally imagine being there if we have kids for a moment yeah I see
6:49 what you're saying because kids for a moment because because like well depending on what age abandoned them she has a massive family and I'm I'm sure your parents would want to be around them right and then and then so that that whole that whole thing but how long will stay there well like my life goal has always been having several different places that I live seasonally yeah I just want to convince some people in my family to come here and that can happen too yeah yeah the kids and things like that but we'll see what else but I haven't really fell in love with the city yet to want to go this is my place yeah I kind of like going around because I could think about five years at a time but that wouldn't be like my 20-year place I feel like you guys being Nomads is like definitely you we're pretty
7:39 nomadic yeah all right which accent would you like your children to have three two one I'm gonna say say American passport British accent oh wow I think that's how you get by in life that's tight yeah that's ████ mad I don't know how we would do that Bonkers mate I want them with a Chinese accent it's not online Chinese accent they can't even come I can't even see my old kids because it's so hard yeah if you have a child what genetic features do you want for your child versus the other oh mate I mean the sun is only getting closer so they really can't have my skin tone like that's just damage Joe's skin tone okay they just need melanin like
8:31 it's it's bad I've got Sun I'm getting freckles I burned really quick huh yeah we can't be dealing with that um physical features I don't care I kind of think we're gonna have ugly kids like like black hair but red mustache I don't know I just got this feeling they're gonna be like good people like funny but I saw a picture of a Japanese ginger boy and therefore made me want to kick him in his stomach and run wait well oh can you make make their kid regret it three to four kids right yeah so you got three to four chances now it's a good odd looking good he's very symmetrical oh we heard yeah yeah especially his penis on his penis too which one you know it's gonna be bad I think maybe he's got
9:22 more fashionable like he's got the big mouth how do you have a fashionable mouth oh it's fashionable she's in fashion dude she knows what's up lip injection your guy's baby's gonna have beautiful hair beautiful hair oh for sure the hair game is gonna be nice yeah hair game is gonna be like um he's more symmetrical than me yeah so I would go more your my face maybe if it's a girl I think she would look better like you not like me I think dude racial babies are always beautiful hello to Melvin jitsukawa see do you see what I'm saying I mean it's not stuck in like the 70s why is it still super Asian yeah it just because it was a bad angle probably that he was also laughing yeah yeah yeah yeah he was like wait if you if you switched it and you did her photo so yeah start with her photo and add his genetic that ████ is kind of ugly so yeah I did do it over
10:14 do it over yeah that guy looks like he ████ has he he runs on a cart and has people sitting in the back I would prefer to have ugly kids why better character yeah and then they can sort it out when they get older yeah I mean say your greetings to Sir William jitsukawa oh that guy's good looking good taco face good looking what's that expression it's just eyes closed it's about to sneeze it's an expression of indifference to the world it's a weird expression but that guy looks like a tick tock star he looks like he's coming right it should have a difference to the world you're like what do you think about the political climate I don't care I don't care I don't I literally I literally don't care
11:04 I'm thinking here that's peaky blinders he is yeah remember where to live he looks like a Tick-Tock star yeah without wearing his glasses he looks like he's saying isn't it I mean that's fine I don't care yeah I'd rather than be ugly anyway this a gerbil nice right there oh I didn't notice cool okay um how about this uh who in your opinion would be a better parent during the child years versus the a teen or young adult years oh oh why and I just yell at them and you can't yeah I'll do better in that like that like the nurture part of it yeah
11:55 but then I think like it gets to a point where he'll need to take over and actually get them to be adults well at least you got both fronts covered instead of both of you being on the same side because I think yeah one thing that I like um uh watching her do is interact with younger people and like also she's a kid magnet like every time immediately kids would just run up to her and like touch her hold her all this stuff and it's the weirdest thing like recently oh you know Justin Shawn I I ran into him at Costco because we were just hanging out oh he lives in Hawaii he lives in Hawaii now and then like out of nowhere right his daughter wants to hug her and then just and then it's always like this she's like a kid magnet and then there's there's it's funny because you know like our friends kids will be like playing with us and she like one might be scared of me but not even to her so it's like but I think that's developed over time
12:46 too I feel like your body gets you ready for it um like I'm giving up some sort of like pheromone yeah that's like she needs to or they just think you're like a princess figure I would like to believe that I just but also the way that you speak to and like talk to like some of the uh you know employees and stuff and like just watching the interaction how you teach and how I'm like okay I can kind of see how you will treat younger people and as a parent and I'm like that's that's good you're very nurturing it's very different from me because I'm like I'm always trying to make people sing I think you need that though yeah because you're like oh we need to do this and we need to do that and I'm like no no they need to learn yeah because they'll sink in this instance but they'll learn yeah whereas I'm more like I'll lacks it for
13:36 them but that's how you're probably raised and stuff too huh I was raised neglected so it's like he wasn't raised as much as just grew up yeah so sinking he's more braised yeah braised that's a good team good balance yeah chemistry yeah you probably need that right yeah but I I don't think you do it too much though because there's some people I think it's just so much to the point where it's overbearing but you're not over bearing I think you're like you care a lot and you try to fix it to the point but you make the path too easy so then they don't and also you try to cover you try to fix it before it gets messed broken but I'm like that's a great experience for them to ████ up a little bit yeah who's the messy one in the relationship three two one I think we're both messy in different ways yeah I think I'm messier
14:27 than you actually yeah that's a wild thing because they all know me as being ████ up he's pretty like clean in the house though he got annoyed at me for not washing the dishes properly I mean if he doesn't want you leaving crumbs in the bed it sounds jealous yeah I am messy and I mean have you seen my office yeah but you're like that's what that is that's what I am I'm a world-class collector yeah he collects but I grew up in a bigger family so I'm used to like a little mess uh like it's manageable yeah there's a little stuff around and things like not dirty but just four kids in a house but my recent like orderliness that's a new part of my life oh really yeah like it's very recent when my friend taught me how to design that room yeah and then like now my room feels like art so then I don't want to destroy it yeah but
15:19 before I never had that mentality everything looked like this office here if I'd have met you earlier I could have been in the bed all right would you guys so close would you guys do uh a prenup or no prenup three two one no no time she's taking everything oh really yep I don't have anything that's actually that's why she's laughing and crying looked I know what you've got it's fine you have a classic car that you can take and some stuff maybe I don't know pretty cool classic car take his paddle board you could take back what you bought just take the paddle make it useless make it hurt yeah well she told me she doesn't oh never mind you find out that you're uh
16:10 one of your children is uh gay who's gonna take it better the first time around I don't think any of us would give a ████ honestly I don't even think I don't even think they'd have to come out like because then I just think they could bring sauna they could be fabulous right out the puss dude straight up hey I don't even think it would be oh this could be all this confetti comes out I'm born that's a sassy baby you can stop pushing lady took you long enough yeah you're gonna cut this thing or no I love this dude yeah that's the umbilical cord I think there's very little we would care about yeah I haven't really put much thought
17:01 into like I don't know I think like I would say a decade ago I'll be like oh yeah you know when I get my kid I'm gonna be like this and this and I had all these like ways of controlling a mini version of me but then now I'm just like that's a lot of effort to put a lot of your expectations into another human being just like yeah let them born and hopefully you know you can make sure that they stay alive and then they have a good set of that's a good goal you know of like like and and and yeah and then they just get the love that they need in a good environment and I mean what else you know as long as I don't know so what's a deal breaker for both of you in this relationship um deal breaker we were talking about this the other day yeah yeah I don't I don't like the idea of
17:53 like ultimatums of like if you do this this is going to be the consequence because you don't know it depends on the Stitch situation in the moment from that smelly ████ but really you gotta keep that ████ clean yeah so I'm running that's why he made you shower the first time dude just in case he's like we're not ruining this any opportunity I'm just kidding it's a good boundary yeah it's bad it's a smelly dick I could deal with a lot to be fair asymmetrical shaft breaker if anything happens to that two inches she says I could even cheat and she won't even leave me terrified it sounded like it should be that broad no I didn't say that because I'm like oh it's like I know so my thing is I don't
18:44 believe in saying this is the only outcome to that solution so like if he did that there would be a reason for it right that's like a symptom it's not the cause he's horny if that was literally it and then we weren't ████ but then if I think if he was horny beyond what we were doing he should tell me about it and then we can arrange something yeah because then the issue is communication yeah then the issues yeah so I think the issue is always deeper yeah and then it depends on so it's not going to be like I'll break up with you because of the cheating it might be I'm breaking up with you because of the reasoning or it would be like oh that doesn't matter that's just a symptom let's deal with the cause but what if you caught on cheating uh with like I don't know like Bart and he's just like he was just like saw that coming oh whoa I think that would because Geo's hot I think we could make that work like let's all move in together
19:34 I get to see tacklemore God I got two daddies yeah he would as well if you're in school like I got two beds so if Joe like murdered somebody would you help him cover it up why did he kill them and who did he kill ah because that would depend your mom [Laughter] damn well I had to make it like realistic she's like what did she do if it was a stranger she'd be like I don't give a ████ was it like an accident or if he maliciously just hate that ████ they never got along and he was just like we cannot be together because she will never approve approve we've got kids at this point um no no kids how old we're dispensable
20:25 because if she's on the way out anyway like if she's got five no it's happening like tomorrow oh tomorrow oh Chevy yeah that might be it I mean your dad and brothers might kill me before you yeah oh that's right what if he what if he killed like a like a server at a restaurant because they were being too mean and they overcharged him for something and he just snapped he just snapped well then we gotta get in counseling but would you would you turn him in oh no so so the restaurant saw yeah but it was a situation like Joe gets pulled over and then it's like an angry cop or something for some reason he pulls a gun out right he pulls a gun out Joe thinks he can handle situations so he's like wait what the ████ like he can Joe already feels like his life is in danger so he tries to like pull the gun out of the cop's hand they get into a
21:17 wrestling match and Joe accidentally kills the cop Joe freaks out oh ████ because he knows what happens to the news so he starts driving away on the news Joe's a wanted man like like uh America's number one wanted person he comes home you've been watching the news he comes in yeah he goes babe we're going to ████ Mexico do you go what do you do do you just follow him to the end of the Earth Bart's like all right so chapter one right and things that never will happen do you do do you like go to wait we gotta think or do are you do you just follow or do you wait for season two to find out where the plot goes yeah we go to Mexico and work it out there surely right because there's no way he's getting out of that like if you kill him I'm not coming back to America it depends if you get a good lawyer do you know what I mean there's ways we can maybe work it out but you go to Mexico and work it out there right yeah but
22:08 you've already Fleet though let's go to America though then you keep going then maybe we hide good lawyer and then I guess I don't know work out how to wire you money in prison is that what you do jeez I guess you'll figure it out I mean that says a lot that says enough that you're willing to go that link yeah that's really cool go to prison for that am I allowed in a long time yeah Joe's technically innocent it's just though if you go to a prison for a long time am I allowed to ████ other people yesterday you said that if I died you wouldn't ████ nobody but if you're in jail it's different and I told you I told you you should ████ somebody yesterday he said if I died you wouldn't ████ nobody because I was at lunch how do you just start saying that I think we were there you guys have had some crazy conversation the last 24 hours hypotheticals are fun though the
23:00 one we keep having is like he wants to if he's in hospital and he's like in a coma and there's no coming back kill me he wants me to switch off the machine yeah that's hard you think you could do that and then the joke is you're gonna everyone's gonna be saying goodbyes while bar just walks up and unplugs it in the middle of it and he's like what you guys yeah taking too long because I couldn't do that and then one tear from Barton these beliefs yeah just walks out like what are you doing how how long though like not just not like 12 hours right 12 hours a coma it's got like a week or something she just got in yeah you get the call like he he just got into the hospital okay yeah he would if he me rugby tackling bot like it's not even an hour and then I was like we've talked about this and the doctor said there's a 90 chance of survival he said what he said and sometimes you
23:50 see Joe go the part just goes yay but the first plug is like to a lamp sound like you're okay on the calendar but it's like oh ████ wrong plug oh ████ the light went off awesome TV why is this place have so many outlets I might look like a prostitute or something but I'm still alive in prison no I said if I die oh she died consequent visits why is it that if I died you won't ████ anybody but if I'm still alive you will still ████ that doesn't make any sense to me because one I can ask you directions permission permission and you're ████ yeah but I'm a go I'm dead you don't have to ████ you don't have what if you like stood in the room watching me get railed by some
24:40 other guys I'm not gonna make you stop no because I gave you permission I'm dead I know I can't bang you anymore so I'm like I'm dead I'll ████ some ghost girls or some ████ you're gonna ████ Girl Scouts yeah so like [Applause] no I'm saying that if I'm dead we can't even cross path in the same Dimension so go ████ whoever you want if you die if you don't hold me I'm gonna be pissed yeah but if I'll haunt you but I'm ████ I'm getting some ghost ████ because that's a different dimension do you think you can feel it yeah I mean we're in the same Dimension that's really hurts what does it make sense is I get a traffic ticket I get I go to ████ jail and you're already banging a prostitute you killed a cop in his world trap the chicken this scenario is
25:32 realistic it isn't for two weeks and I'm like I need to get some and I come out like what the ████ you guys get each other for real but if he's a ghost you're like betrothed forever yeah if I'm dead goes he's like I'm never having dick ever again but what if I get a DUI I don't even drink alcohol I'm in prison for like a week and you're like I ████ five hookers and I'm like I meet another guy and then we're together and then in my next life I find him and not you oh see yeah right check and mate thank you that is true that's a good point wow yeah that's a golf club right there wow I never thought of that I never thought about it you reincarnation thinker
26:22 foreign
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