0:00 I don't like anybody coming to my place when I'm working. Like even when I was working with Paula Abdul, she threatened to come to the to my house over and over because she wanted to sit there with me, but I just kept saying no. Why so she could like she wants to see her process or just so she can like >> She was trying to kiss you. Welcome back to another episode of Bart from the Heart. We have a list of questions that Bart made that force us to really think pretty deeply and we end up taking the entire episode to ourselves solo. So Bart's going to ask me some from his list. >> What do you think is a trait of yours that has held you back from reaching your full potential? And it could even be something that you hate about yourself or something you've been trying to change and couldn't or something you've actually completely
0:50 overcome and you can share how you're able to overcome it. I feel like I have the same one for many years now and it's the maybe you guys have the same thing where like you know when you're about to like lock in and commit to a task but you've done this task many times and you know that your brain is going to enter almost like a nirvana level of hard work to get it done. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like almost like a flow state, right? >> Flow state, yeah. When you're standing on the opposite side of that about to jump in it's so intimidating to me sometimes. >> Like if if I know that I have like a music assignment and I just know that like in order to achieve this I have to hit that flow state, but it's so uncomfortable to to know that like oh my god, that's like 8 10 hours of work ahead of me. Like and
1:41 once I jump in, I have to be in it the entire time until it's done. It's it's almost like staring like at a titan in the face and I just put it off over and over and over and I'm just like I don't know if I can enter that state right now. Like you know >> I ain't trying to time warp today. >> Yeah, because it's so it's so locking in for me is so uncomfortable because like it like it when I locked in I'm truly locked in. I'm really like I'm the most like responsible that I ever am. Do you put your phone and all the notifications off, do not disturb, all that stuff? >> Yeah, I can't I can't be distracted and I and I will like become addicted to the work. I will be like so I have almost like a really addictive personality when it comes to skill gaining. Which is why like anything I I pick up I have to like gain proficiency or else I'll I'll look at it like oh my god, I can't waste all that time. I got to get good. And so like every single time like
2:33 even for this last [snorts] film that I've been working on, which I've been on over a year now, any any time like which could be like every other day they send me something they're like, "Hey, we need you to do this thing." I just stare at it and I'm like, "God, can I do that today?" Like I have the time, but I feel like I don't have the courage to like step outside of my comfortable self and become the ████ drone that just goes and then I like lock in and you switch modes and I forget about everything. It I don't know why for some reason it's it's really it's an annoying trait about me that's like I'm sure it's very common. >> You're also doing it sober. Yeah. There's so many artists out there >> [laughter] >> That's who yeah. that rhymes with Anthony Lee they'll just pop >> [laughter] >> they'll just pop an Adderall or something, you know, boom got it done.
3:24 >> [laughter] >> I just hate that I I hate that I've been there so many times that I know what it feels like and it's I still haven't to this day figured out the best way to approach that. Is it cuz of the work does require it cuz it's it's not like a few clippings that you got to do? Cuz that would suck if you have to like just to respond to an email you got to go to flow state every single time? >> Yeah, it's because it's art because it's creativity based. So it's like you You like there you could potentially like I I look at myself and I'm like I could potentially be sitting in this chair for 10 hours. It's ████ lunchtime the next day and I have nothing because it's creative style. It's not like there's a right or wrong answer to this problem. They're just like do something with this and make it good. So then what is good? What
4:14 if I worked all night and it just isn't good to me, but I'm afraid to turn it in because I they might think it's bad, but what if they think it's good and I think it's bad? What if the thing I think is good is what they think is bad? So you wrestle with this like all night and you're just like when is it finished? Like when is it done? How do you know? Like was it good 6 hours ago and I deleted that and I can't get it back? Like it's such a first world problem type ████ which is why I always laugh at it, but like I the best thing I can do and this is kind of like my hack is I just get the strongest coffee I can and it turns me into such a maniac that I do it anyway and I'm just like ████ it, whatever. But then the side effects of that is that like you know, the burnout is severe. Like afterwards? Yeah, after I'm done, I can't even the ████ director knows that like if I just turn the file in,
5:05 they don't even try to hit me up cuz they know I knock the ████ out. Holy And they and they'll just like text me and be like, "Hey, I know you're probably hibernating right now, but like when you wake up, we need to change that and do this and this." And then I'm just like they know I won't see it. >> They see the email came in like 4:00 a.m. or something. >> yeah. And they know like when they ask me to do it and they know that like I powered through and and delivered it ASAP. So they know I didn't sleep and I was probably at the end of my day when they first hit me up. So it's like I I do these like super long benders and and it's almost like the same thing with when we were talking about urgency when it came to like procrastination and it's like that thing where you can't really you don't want to start working until it's a fire that needs to be put out. So, I I bring myself to that point a lot as well where like uh not to, you know, I hope they're not
5:55 watching this, but sometimes I'll get an assignment and it's due Friday and today is Wednesday and I'm not going to start until Friday because I want to feel like it's in a ████ emergency. Because I'm not I'm not going to have the drive to start on that Wednesday. Do you think your best work comes out that time too or no? No, I think I think in my heart of hearts I know that like anytime I do it is going to be the same work. It's just one of them I'm more stressed, but the stress is what makes me take that leap that goes into the uncomfortability of locking in, which is so stupid, but like >> It's exhausting, but that's an ADHD trait. >> Yeah, and I'm always trying to work on it. >> So that's like a theme here. With all of us. But if there's a trait that's holding you back, it's definitely that. I think a lot of the time there's things that I know I can do, like I for sure know I can just make this thing, but I just don't do it because I see the
6:45 lock in and I'm like, do I want to live in that head space for that long and and do this task? Cuz I remember one time it kind of like really got to me, but like when I was working many years ago, I was working with the Olympic skaters and we're formulating our our uh the season and everything, making music and stuff and they spent a lot of time with me just in my space like working with me and watching me work. I don't really don't like that. I don't like anybody uh coming to my place when I'm working. Like even when I was working with Paula Abdul, she threatened to come to the to my house over and over because she wanted to sit there with me, but I just kept saying no. Why? So she could like she wants to see her process or just so she can like She was trying to kiss you. She wanted to like she wanted a live like work together, but I just can't do that. I have to like you just have to tell me what you need and then I have to just make it and then then you can tell me if it's but I don't want to
7:36 have you behind me telling me like uh no no no no no no cuz that's nobody likes that. But then like when the skaters are working with me, they were they were actually very much in that space and then like they would just so confused. They were just asking me like, why don't you do this ████ for yourself more? Like why don't you make this stuff outside of assignments or or or uh or commissions or like why don't you why don't you make music this way? Why don't you release this? How come you don't do that? And I'm just like I don't know, dude. It's just ████ I don't like thinking about it. That's it. And I've had homies like have like literally sit downs with me Cuz you have the skill set to put on full your own albums, but then you're just like I'd rather just do yours versus I make my own music. >> a part of it is just like it's such a weird ████ first world thing again,
8:27 but it's like you you some people like me have a fear of of almost like a fear of narcissism. Where it's like I I enjoy doing ████ for people to help people or to to find the answer they're looking for within my skill set, but if it's just for me, I'm not as motivated. I don't feel like it's like I don't I'm not that into myself like in that way. And I don't and I kind of am afraid of being into myself in that way cuz I don't think I'll like who I am if I was. And so like it's gotten to the point where like I've had homies that I work with a lot that uh really get me a lot of good ████ work. And this one homie like literally had a actual sit down with me. He's like, yo, can we meet for lunch and just to talk? And I was like, yo. We met up and this fool's whole thesis of speaking to me that day was just why are you so ████ scared of like success? Woah. Wow.
9:18 >> What So how did that conversation go? I just told him like, bro, I just don't I don't have the motivation that most people do when they recognize they can do something. I just don't have that. I look at it more like, okay, I want to I want to be part of a team and be a key member of that team, but I don't want to be the leader and and depend on myself fully in that way. Like I just it's just weird to me. I don't know why it is. But then yeah, cuz he's just like you know, a lot of people if they could do if they had your skill set, they would just be ████ doing this on their own and doing that on their own. And is it like a time issue that you don't have the time to do it? I was like, "No, I do have the time. I just ████ don't. And it's not appealing. Maybe I'm like a ghost writer, you know? Like, there's people that are really talented in one way and they don't want to be the guy. Cuz I never I really don't want to be the guy. I just want my work to be the thing. I don't want to be the guy. Don't don't You don't need to see my face. You don't need to see who
10:09 made this ████ Just pay me for the work. Give me the credit so I can get another gig. Recommend me to the next guy, and I'm good with that. But I'm not trying to be a star in any way, and I think that people's I guess desire to be a star also fuels you know, them taking their craft to the next level. But for me also, I'm I'm trying to find that sweet spot. Cuz they're also selling themselves, too. And maybe you're not selling yourself as much as you could be. Exactly. Yeah, they're selling themselves. And and I know there's like a sweet spot in between. And that's the sweet spot I'm trying to find. Where's the sweet spot of the guy that doesn't give a ████ and just put ████ out and doesn't even think about it? And it finds its way to good places. Is there uh anyone that is doing what you're saying? Yeah. Smacc, 100%. Smacc is an anomaly I've never met in my life who doesn't even
11:00 think twice. She'll sit there and go She'll laugh to herself because something's funny. She goes and films it that minute, posts it the next minute. And never looks back or thinks about it again. And it's and all day long just doing that. And it's no overthinking, no do people like it, no check the comments, see what people are saying. None of that exist. It's just purely like it's almost like a kid reflex of just I want to do this, you know? It tripped me the ████ out. I went to go grab Japanese barbecue. So, we went to go eat Japanese barbecue after we all snowboarded. By the time I got home, Smack posted a food review of that place with b-roll and all that stuff. >> Without even realizing >> And I was like, I could have sworn I was having a full-on conversation with her across the grill. When the ████ did she film all this ████ >> saying. >> There's like, yeah. There's like b-roll
11:50 of steak, of the ambiance, and like all this stuff. She just gave like, "Oh, I love this place because yada yada yada." I'm like, "When the ████ did you do all that?" Master. And it doesn't even break up the social interaction. Like, that's where I'm like it it's that sweet spot of like I and I'm learning a lot from her in terms of just being more comfortable about it, but like what she's got going definitely is the flagship of success in that way because people look at her her metrics and they're like, "Damn, you got ████ 100 million views on this ████ and this that." You people don't realize unless they actually really follow her how much ████ flies under the radar. Like, her she posts so much, probably more than ████ JK posts per day, and so much ████ whiffs and fails. And she looks at it and goes, "Damn, people didn't like that one, I guess." You know, and it doesn't do anything to her because she makes it cuz she thinks it's funny. And she's just like, "I like it." And then like I I'm
12:40 trying to I'm almost there, but I'm trying to get to the point of like "I liked this. I'll just put it out. Whatever, I like it, you know?" And and try to be lighter about it, but I think like because I mistakenly trained myself to work under pressure for almost every kind of art I do, I don't know how to relaxing-wise produce the same thing. >> You know what I mean? Like make something with no pressure, no >> no stakes. It's always in distress. It's always against the odds. It's always on a timeline that's impossible. >> It's pretty sick, though. And [snorts] I also, because of that curse, I don't know when it's done if it's for me. If it's for someone else, if it's for a job, I know exactly like, "Okay, this is good enough." But like for me, like I look at like if I have to make something just for Smack, easy. If I have to do for me, it's just a ████ work-in-progress file on my computer never to be exported, you know? Like it's it's a
13:32 again, it's the most first world curse I can think of, but that is the trait definitely that holds me back for sure. >> That was such a good answer. That was a really good answer. That's a good answer. That was such a good answer you unlocked some ████ in my brain where I was like, holy ████ [laughter] Oh, yeah, we're trauma bonding now. Yeah, no, seriously, seriously. It's very relatable. >> Well, thanks for listening to that guys. If you have any questions that are hard hitting that might take a little more time that we can address, write it in the comments below or if you join the Discord, you can tell us over there. That was another episode of Bart from the Heart. Ryan from the Buy-in. >> [laughter]
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