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Joe is Still Unsure About Having Kids

#humblebragging#anotherkid#cry#crying#walkaway
the transcript auto-captions · entered into evidence

0:00 honestly I would just shove you guys a bunch that's what I would [Applause] do I don't like you guys as babies honestly I don't like that I [Music] want welcome back to another episode careful boys today we're going to discuss why does subin have advice for Joe about not having kids don't do it yeah every single time I hear people talk about their kid and everything it's never good it's that mother kep me up I barely s mat Kim had a had a pretty opposite thing to say about it remember he was Matt Kim is unemployed and he has all the time in the world to love the out of his kid what do you mean he's unemployed he's an entrepreneur yeah he's a business owner okay yeah like you

0:50 I ain't got all the time of the world like mat she was employed by JK you're the employer no no no I could give him a break right I could be a good boss if I really was a boss go like you know what sub just stay home with your baby dude oh you're sleep deprived oh man I should give you paternity leave but I'm not your employer so I don't give a ████ bro exactly he doesn't employ anybody you're here on your own will yes and I'm not even telling you what time to be here cuz then clearly that's what employees do but you're not an employee is isn't it a thing when like new parents always like complain and complain complain about difficult it don't have K don't have a kid don't be gangster like me oh oh man I just bought a house but like oh man I got to do all this manance I got to change all my furniture oh don't don't do it like me I'm a gang you're getting more Korean I like it like that you say it's humble

1:40 bragging yeah oh hey don't get a kid don't be like me man I'm ahead of the curve ain't nobody bragging about that damn come on man do that always happen though it's like an indirect way of saying what I got it's like dude dude wait dude dude wait wait for your happiness I'm the happiest I've ever been but wait I don't think subie is humble bragging I hear that too yeah oh I sleep the prime you're you're never going to feel this kind of love ever in your life this level of love is like this is I love this ████ I don't think sub's humble bragging but I just feel like he's in the he's in the sticks right now with with having a baby like he's in the worst phase which is like the babies waking him up all the time until the baby starts acting and doing stuff too going to be like oh my God all it is that's all it is you would do the same thing with your dogs didn't you same thing and I want to throw them out right now I want to send them wet

2:31 yeah you don't like them when they're puppies no they're the best they're the best but you want to shake them a little bit but that's fine you want to shake them cuz they're cute yeah that's no you just want to like AGG listen to me but puppies don't cry but these ones he just like shut up baby you don't do that to the puppy though you don't have to say that the pugs don't cry but they're like they're like that a lot so that's not like it's okay it's okay but it could be worse it could be worse it could be crying like a actual baby that's a feature though that's not yeah way older than you but you are like old as you no you got a baby though I know so I'm late you're never too late Joe so I'm late you go on your own time do you feel like do you feel like you're on your own time right now is this exactly the time you three here is like I don't know one

3:22 generation yeah this is should have been generation we should have been having we should have been having old down yeah like should have had kids already yeah oh yeah I feel like anywhere in the like United States besides LA and if you're in the industry this generation would have been already set with family and you know houses that's true La Big City and then I don't know our generation our kids should be going to college next year but it's not over for you guys it's different for men your girlfriends are all still pretty young yeah I mean I feel like just the generation just different I mean in the area wise that's it because everybody else is they all got kids and family at that you guys' age I'll be too tired to fight with my kid during his teen angsty years though that's nice I think so too cuz I was calculating it the other day I was like you know what that means they're teen

4:13 I'm going to be like in my mid-50s yeah maybe 60s yeah I hope your kid is a prankster and just pranks ████ out of no way it's not going to be what if he's a complete opposite just he could be that too yeah just so quiet cuz you know some kids just don't want to be like their parents no matter what they just like think it's it's the lamest thing right right oh but the genetics is there you can see it you could just start practicing lame once your kid like gets older like that's the big prank one giant prank you just are lame for their entire teenage years really cool that's what I should do one giant prank on my kid yeah really ████ up long dude that would be so funny if I just give you one of my kids and ████ and then we have this practical joke it goes I ████ look like Uncle Joe I look it's a big ass joke that's what stepen Tyler did you guys

5:03 were right so you think you uh does this make you feel like you don't want another kid I mean not necessarily not want another kid just maybe not want another kid now back to back or like even think of it you know what I'm saying like I don't even want to think about another kid yeah that's that's crazy to me because we don't even got to push a baby out of a ████ and it doesn't hurt but then I still hear from guys oh I don't ████ know if we want another one and I'm like you didn't have to do anything well it's the it's the but it's still that hard that's what blows my mind it is it's harder on you than Sasha huh no way no what the ████ hold on I just wanted to I wanted to catch him sleeping and he goes yeah no it's the it's the it's it's the different like style of like you know I want I want him to cry and I don't even want to bother him I'm like yo you want to cry you go cry all day long go for it is that what he's doing right now just crying all day long we're at the stage

5:54 where he just the whole time you know what I'm saying and and then my wife's like oh we need a nure him feel I'm like BR leave him alone what's your he'll shut the ████ up yeah he'll sleep eventually so we're kind of clashing in our own way oh so you're trying to tire him out and Sasha's like trying to trying put him back in the cage no I'm just yeah I'm just like oh he's going to run out of fi soon so I'm just like looking at him like I'm here though I'm just watching you run out of field but she's like let me let me I think this is common though I feel like guys don't really connect until like a little after one yeah like the way that it's just it's just the ████ worm that's crying right and then the mom would be like oh I'm so obsessed like I can't I can't I can't ever be away like if I'm away for like 30 minutes I go crazy and ████ and I'm like well that gu guy simply's got the headset on he's like he let him cry let him cry good

6:46 he's going to get tired no it's just like just like C my point was babe baby this one hour of crying alone is not going to affect his future it's not going to affect him growing up true and she was just like No And I was like no but I heard that women though are wired with the hear like they could hear it and go oh I got to ████ deal with this ████ and and then like they could hear a baby ████ 3 miles away they got the cat ears when it comes to baby crying sniff of salmon in the river 10 miles away CRI like they'll wake up randomly and be like Oh is he crying like the whole time he's just knocked out you know I mean like but it has to be though cuz like like the whole survival of the human race is like if a woman isn't like oh ████ he needs a titty right now or like oh ████ you know

7:36 then it's like if the woman too was like man yeah shut the ████ up baby like a guy then it's like we're all going to die yeah yeah yeah yeah for sure for sure that's why that's why we I believe we need that partner cuz it's a psychic thing yeah one will defend one will kill one will shut up you little ████ pterodactyl what was told me that that kid that kid said to when you were talking to her oh dude so like people think my my my my friend's daughter like it's like there's like different stages right like there's terrible twos and he goes I think it's terrible threes I'm like why what are you talking about so she has this Jesus sticker coloring book right and then we used to just always play and I'll be like you got that you got that she goes yeah and I said oh dang you got you got doves girl you got

8:26 doves and she's like no don't ever say that to me no uncle and then I was just like what the ████ you're a ████ and her dad was like dude like that's how she she's been so sassy and she was so mad she was so mad for the rest of the day don't say you got D what the ████ you're a ████ he's like that's a dove what are you talking about you ████ ████ and the whole time she was throwing a tantum she was just like over nothing but then I heard three-year-olds be doing ████ like that they just go crazy H dude it was so random and he goes yeah my my friend was cracking goes man she's been like this for months it's like a new thing like they just go through these different personality F like last year it was like

9:17 the sweet little girl now she's a ████ full-on ████ and it's like she's so mean that's what they call terrible twos right full on ████ full on ████ season full on ████ season know Dove and she only knows like dumb no I pointed at the birdies or like she'll just get mad at random things she just throw tantrum she's just like standing there likeing hey that's why you got to put him in sports right away you're going to be too tired for that assassin what sport can you put a 2-year-old twoy I just think they're just experiencing emotions dude choreography boxing running swimming book reading piano first one you're going to put your son in boxing boxing's the first they don't even know how to read hell yeah I want to make sure he knows how to throw hands and then I'm

10:07 going to call Uncle Nick for jits at what age are you imagining this happening two and one one soon as he hits one one you guys have a one-year-old class yeah yeah it's it's in the works we can't release it yet but like we're still working on it you know how much money he'll be making cuz it's a kid they could do it for the child it's really just daycare dude 300 a month you bring 20 kids Bango you're going to hawaiii 21y olds 300 a month I'm looking for 21y olds could you do that realistically if people were like hey we need you to teach a class be 21 year old yeah for one one hour he's going to be like let them cry it out let them cry it out but what if none of them are crying and they're just staring at you like yeah let's go I could train if if I had 21-year-olds that were amped to train I could train them easily amped but the

10:57 problem is they're not really amped to train Nick the kids would be easy they're just going to be just roll around around just figure it yourself it's just tummy time the whole time yeah tummy time get your next baby jiujitsu sounds like hell man come on baby and they all trigger each other crying too when one starts going it's like ████ a ████ flock of geese and ████ full disclosure full disclosure I don't have much experience of one-year-old what's the youngest kid you've T JJ to probably like three four is there age limit it it's it's hard depending on like the kid yeah is Jiu-Jitsu part hard or is it is the kid part getting their attention harder nah cuz it you just have to you just have to like make just the proper aggressions imagine we're 3 years old me and Anthony first of them it's like hey can you do one task can you just stand on

11:47 this little talk to me like a kid you ████ say that you say no wait this is this is not realistic role play it's not realistic Ro play i p honestly I would just shove you guys guys a bunch that's what I would [Applause] do I don't like you guys as babies honestly I don't really like that I want to you don't get to have a preference I don't think I should teach kids I don't like you you guys are scary me you really talk to babies the same way you talk to us like an adult you don't you don't change it up when I when I talk to kids well for like little kids I talk to them the same you don't Google you don't baby talk them like baby talk like what I do that to my dogs that's about it like oh you're the in the whole world like your register your register just

12:37 goes up more you know what I mean like you're not like hey baby hey TI my voice gets deeper like that I think yesterday I was I was filming them walking and then like your freaking head's all in the way and you're talking on the phone and then like I think Jeremy was like he's talking about his dogs and then like in the audio you're like yeah because you just have to let them and then they'll figure it out she was having a hard time with them you sound like a guy doing like business deals but you're just talking about dogs it's a big it's a big business deal with the house right if we sign this deal you know everyone's happy yeah I'm I'm excited to see how you would raise a kid because now that honestly that's it scares the ████ out of me yeah yeah cuz I feel like I I feel like I'm going to be I don't want to say a bad dad but I'm like ah like it's just a it's a lot you know be a great dad I'd pull my hair out like

13:27 God damn it you probably get like a bigger fanny pack and put the kid right there yeah no I just I just cuz I feel like it'll make me rage out you know like quick like my my my fuse is going to be even shorter so I got to like really like Zen out a little bit can I tell you this the other day I was driving and I was getting so ████ worked up and I'm like really trying to work on it just like in general I was just like worked up mad time I felt like such an idiot but I did it and I was like anger meditation on YouTube I put it in and I was driving with it sometimes make me mad yeah I was mad first 10 minutes I was ████ I was like shut the ████ up I was like shut up you're you're dumb and then like 10 minutes later I was like you know I do feel better this is actually this actually works a lot you put on anger is that the first time you ever listen to something like that for anger yeah honestly that was the first cuz I was like dude I'm going to ████ lose it

14:18 right now I'm going to ████ I'm going to rip my hair what you do like just breathe was n you just you know it's just the nice music ding ding ding ding oh it wasn't like a you are an individual yeah no kind of like that it's kind of like that and I'm like you're a ████ idiot for listening this I know it is lame but what do you feel like L up and triggered such rage training with Anthony Lee a little bit thinking of it good I didn't get that much sleep that night before Oh ████ and I was like yeah I was like super cranky and I was like super like stressed out by some other stuff and then I just was like God damn it and then you know driving it just the right combination of folks that just gets you rounded up say it old people preh it's all kinds it's all kinds honestly Teslas huh Teslas are so gay when I drive behind a Tesla

15:11 brother oh God but I've never been I never actually driven a Tesla and everyone tells me that like the handling is kind of funny so it's like when you take your foot off the gas like it kind of abrupt stops so like when you drive behind one the hell you got to try that thing though man I'm telling you you got to try you got to cut off Teslas from now on it's so funny yeah it's hilarious I had to go to therapist and my wife was like yo you got to go to therapist I was like what the ████ no one goes to this kind of ████ this is this like white people ████ she's like you got to go she's like I'm kind of white yeah and she made me do this thing like how angry do you get I was like I'm pissed off I'm being here right now I'm ████ be it I'll ████ you up no she was just like why are you so mad all the time cuz I was like it's ████ inconvenient right now I'm this is an inconvenience to me so okay and we went through this whole process of she sat me

16:01 down and she played this and you're just like whoa It's tickling my brain this s███'s actually working and then she's just like every time you get mad you have to walk away yeah to the other side and she kept jamming that in my head and then boom 11:00 hits he turns on the light hey it's 11:00 it was nice to see you I have you guys a nice day okay see you she hypnotized your ass yeah she did and but ever since then if me and my lady argues I just walk away oh yeah and now your lady's like finish the ████ argument what we what are we doing there's no resolution she's like you going to walk you going to walk away not going finish this conversation and I was just like babe I'm cooling off bab I'm cooling off and I was like you

16:51 sent me to the therapist that's what she told me to do and she's like darn it I want to refund that's a good strategy man yeah come back I apologize hey babe I'm sorry at least you revisit the conversation you don't just yeah a month later revisit right away you know I look at it and I fart was that funny she's like disgusting all right anyways disgusting honestly that's a good strategy brother that's a great ice break the awkwardness fart a little bit look at her and she's like she's still pissed anyways let's talk about what happened earlier today you're still mad a all right imagine if that works I bet it does I bet in some cases depending on how pissed you are in some cases it does not work does not it makes you more mad my my ex tried I think she learned that like this is years and years ago tried to fart no she just tried to she someone had told her like cuz we were fighting a lot and someone had told her like oh

17:42 just break the ice with a joke in the middle of it and she tried to do that to me we were like I think we were like in a restaurant and I was like super trying not to like like let it out and I was just kind of like pissed and then she was like look at us we're crazy I was like are you ████ kidding me like I got so mad it makes it seem like she's not taking it seriously I was so immature that I got way more pissed funny but it is time and place though like you can't use that that's a that's an advanced level move look at us in love again

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