0:00 [Music] speaking of uh steve's hot sister is she hot is this a joke too i can't she's pretty smoking i feel like i'm getting baffled left and right here i thought you guys were my friends you guys have not seen her so it's it's settled i was like dude i'd be i'd be like into incest too she's she's so hot my wife is like yeah you could perv over her oh you got the pass dude he's joking but legit my sister's ████ hot no no but also too so this is one of those weird things have you ever been in a situation too where you've seen like like a gorgeous model like hot as ████ 10 out of 10 and you're like man what if she had a brother wouldn't that be awkward that's how awkward it is for me it doesn't sound awkward you literally just said yeah my sister's ████ hot right but it's just weird it's just one of those crazy things it's just weird i think it's just kind of used to it's been yeah oh yeah i'm sure you got
0:50 ragged it's cause he's got like morning wood every time he thinks about it oh yeah oh you wake up with morning when your sister's your first thought of the morning no usually looking over where my ████ lame ass wife is foot in your face record scratch how did i get here all right so uh there's a ████ beginning of a sitcom you might be wondering how did i get with this ugly ass piece of ████ hey honey i'm going to my sister's house you just saw her last night even i'm leaving my sister's house that's how i got here so um you might be wondering why i'm ████ my sister how i ████ my sister it's like a sick a woman is paranoid that she'll date a sibling after discovering more
1:42 than 50 half siblings whoa whoa that's in a movie or something i mean is this like in utah well the thing is she discovered that she has more than 50 half siblings because she has a sperm donor dad oh oh my god was it vince vaughn yeah that sounds like it but he's like 10 000 kids because he was so broke he's just jerking off into a cup only three months or like six months anybody know how much you paid for sperm donations dude i've asked it's a couple hundred bucks i think what was it i heard now they're doing some genetic ████ so maybe if i'm an athlete maybe i'll get a little more mmm cancer in the family yeah they're looking for that real aryan blood maybe they made me pay just to ball the porn magazine don't you guys pay me and they're like abs no no not your case first google says be a sperm donor earn up to four thousand dollars in six months i'm in it says up to four thousand dollars in
2:32 six months for one to two hours each week in exchange for your commitment i like how committed two hours how viciously are you incentives and bonuses over time yeah one or two hours each week that's two hours oh in a week yeah but not in one session it's like you're not like like enjoying the donation like every day you're jacking it yeah but yeah i guess every day you're jacking off you could probably if you jack off every night that's about an hour a week do they pay you by ounce or by hour it's got to be at least an hour by grams actually yeah donors earn 140 for each acceptable sperm sample most that's it it's a week 140. some donate more often most donors earn 500 to 700 per month and men of color can empower families of color by donating sperm whoa do you think that enough i'm latin let's go do you think the self-starter like uh instagram people are like like
3:22 wake up grind drop in pints another day let's go liquid white gold i make money swipe up by the way i'm kind of tired right now i'll see y'all later everyone's on that drop shipping grind i'm on that drop coming grind come on let's go swipe up and run your course what's the uh uh law with like half like in incest and like half stuff what do you mean like like i know each state is different like florida i think you can do like your second cup you can ████ your sister right like the south is like second oh the state brings it closer and closer and closer i think depending where you live the law i think some places it's a state brings it closer i think per state they just look the other way more yeah like mississippi i'm pretty sure the prince and princess of south carolina are brother and sister i didn't know that they're one of the only remaining royalty in america is that a thing yeah the prince and
4:13 princess of south carolina have you ever seen the whitaker family wait they have a it's really called the prince and prince princeton south carolina of south carolina yeah it's real well you know like the genetic stuff where uh is it just a made-up title like no it's just like line back to europe yeah their their lineage goes you guys are ████ idiots sometimes that couldn't make sense that was fun i don't know you know history ████ i don't know i don't ████ know prince of prison in south carolina though that's how i was like that just sounds weird you're the only one who sniffed it everyone was like oh yeah a 23 year old tick tocker from new jersey took to the app to explain she has two moms and was conceived using a sperm donor so she decided to do a dna test to find out her heritage okay she was surprised to learn that she's not as italian as she first thought but
5:04 it wasn't until she received a message from a random woman that things started to get a little bit funny she's probably throughout life she's like man i gotta eat my culture's food ████ spaghetti like pizza because you know like italians are like that's the funny food is like so hardcore oh yeah it is and then she finds out and she's like wait this ain't this ain't my and that bothers her more than the fact that she has 50 half siblings dude what's with italians and constantly talking about how they're italian it's like we ████ got it bro like well you know i'm italian so like you know how it is it's like we got it and they're ████ so naughty about the food you've got to make pizza the right way we all know you cracked the ████ pasta why did you do that this isn't real ravioli it's like what the ████ what the ████ is it it's ████ ravioli okay yeah dude i'm greek [Laughter]
5:56 genius you're not italian bro yeah my last name wasn't farnachi i know you're not italian because you don't ████ you never said one time i well i'm italian you know he's argentinian i'm more argentinian yeah so do you think when italians move to other places and then they become that area they forget that they're italian and now they're like no way they announced their time when they get there everywhere yeah like my family moved into little italy uh in cleveland would your family freak out if i was about to make pasta and like crack the noodles and then i put it in we're not that italian okay and then right after i took a ████ on the italian flag and started jerking off the toilet it's like if you're not like ████ doing this for noodles like you you never get hungry at midnight you ████ idiots good lord you're going back and cheese instant mac isn't noodles though all right that's my favorite i agree that
6:47 might show me out that was really cool so uh so izzy gets a message from a random woman asking if she's related to a specific person or family because uh she matched with her daughter and then izzy says no so then she asked if uh she was a sperm baby because her daughter was too and now she's freaking out because she could be her sister because she's a donor baby whoa so the woman ends up sending izzy an invite to a facebook group of more than 50 people who were all conceived using the same man's sperm that is the vince vaughn did they figure it out by like 23andme and stuff yeah like a dna so let's not date if we're in here let's not date okay that's like the thing right oh you're talking yeah and it'll be fine a lot of chinese
7:37 people got ganges calm in them yeah we are all getting this camera mailed it that's why we don't do ████ 23andme we all find out the same have you guys done it yet yeah we're gonna learn the same ████ can we all do it together and just read it when do you think the first person said come on like you know what it is it's well it's called come as well as opposed to like semen yeah well yeah is it an acronym i don't know why did they come up with that it's not like genghis khan's like you just got giggus gum that was his catchphrase actually puts in her face that's right because it comes from the mongolian era oh my god language expert in here and ask him important questions like that we'll just ████ pull him out of the closet just when we want to say some ████ yeah yeah and get your ass over here that is actually a good question though where does that come
8:32 that's actually i could be your english expert if you guys need one false in the closet with no change but the past dance is what change yeah yes but the past tense is kane yeah true when you did it yes it's also funny to say i come down here well i asked nikki all the time i did you came did so she said now there's paranoia about overpopulation because some of them are afraid there are so many of us and we may end up dating someone who happened how ████ that many small towns that's what i could say how many people live yeah if they're all in the same town that's kind of a all lot same town but for them to all ████ have a facebook group they live in alignment with each other to make sure they can't ████ each other isn't hilarious i don't want to be i don't want to be ignorant to oh they're all hella ugly none of them are getting laid anyways they're just freaking out over nothing
9:22 so i don't want to be ignorant to what it is to either be a sperm donor baby or adopt or anything like that but um i'm guessing there's that many ladies that couldn't get laid no i was i'm guessing that everybody eventually wants to like kind of meet their maker in a sense oh i said yeah and like like that journey if you're gonna have 50 people join a facebook group and then like proactively find other people yeah or or even to like the way they find them is because other people are posting themselves even if they don't have the answer that they like ah i don't know this or i i'm a sperm donor baby or whatever whatever gives clues to why there's got to be that uh i'm wondering does everybody just do that does every sperm donor baby eventually have to do that or like uh even adoption i think a lot of people do want to do i understand that an adoption i guess somebody wants to shoot a baby out of the ████ though that's why or what is it do you think
10:12 the sperm donor knows how many ████ babies he potentially i think he knows how much money he got yeah potential is what like 100 000 billion yeah right yeah that was real yeah yeah that's your second math joke so i believed you 100 000 100 000 billion that was really just 100 oh 100 gazillion what's that gazillion what's gazillion is it real is that the godzilla era what is that let me see is kazillion real gee i think it actually exists call gazillion within i'm gonna call it dropout what do i know gazillion what's after trillium actually no like zillion and jillian gazillion is a made-up word what's after trillion quadrillion
11:13 wow i want the cilia money i want sextillion money baby that's what bazel's chasing after the sex stealing the bezos is ain't in the compensation one but again back to the real conversation of trillions though sperm donor people so if you ████ if you just donate a bunch of sperm for the rest of your life you have no moral obligation or ideal connection yeah right yeah like that's i assume so i i assume there's a uh you don't even get ████ why should you take care of those kids exactly that's true okay but so let's say let's say you're a sperm donor wait who can't get ████ the donor what if he's just doing it for money or like no no but he's not ████ the girls he's just coming in the cup yup you're right but what if his goal is not to like raise a kid i'm just saying like maybe maybe he's he is getting ████ and he's he's getting money and maybe he's
12:04 really really kind and he's worried about all the ladies that have infertile mans what a sweet person oh he's just trying to get laid i don't think that works ████ if you go on the first date and say yeah i'm actually a regular sperm donor i don't think that helps no it doesn't doesn't or if you're like hey yeah i do charity work i've got a facebook group that everybody's looking for me somewhere yeah i do a lot of charity work but i mean there's got to be more than one facebook group out there that has like this type of thing and there's also got to be people that end up confronting those people or finding their sperm donor father right yeah for sure which is why they probably even made a movie right like yeah how does how does ████ like that where i just think it was my ████ mind if you had like 50 plus children out there that came out of your sperm and you don't know anything about them yeah do you when you buy sperm do you choose does it have like a label like usually when i buy it on tuesdays right yeah they're freshest yeah that's when the
12:55 eggs are fresh out there who know who their kids are and they don't want to know them and then anthony's in here worried that all these sperm babies aren't going to know their family the ████ cutest ████ mental mindset i've ever heard about [Music] huh [Music]
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