0:00 You got to wonder about the guys that are like, "No way, man. No buff chokes. I'm not gay, dude. >> That's me." >> Oh, careful. Okay. Okay. Careful. Careful, boys. >> Need to be like Barbie, brother. That's me. >> What is it that you are hiding? >> You think I'm a latent homosexual? >> Not latent? No. My god, you're just a homosexual. >> It's a hard way to find out >> now. But now you know. >> All right. >> Welcome back to Careful Boys. Today we're debating. Is being visibly buff better for dudes or chicks? [laughter] >> What a cool topic, >> right? I think it's better for dudes. >> Thank you very much. >> If you are a visibly buffed chick, I do have DMs. See you there. >> Oh ████ So you mean like if a >> Oh, you you DM them if they're visibly buffed. >> No, no, no, no. I have a DM section. They could DM me, too. >> Oh, so you're that's what you're into?
0:51 He likes buff chicks. Yeah, you like buff chicks. >> You like like China? Remember China from WWE? The things I would do to China border on the obscene. >> Well, she's dead, so you you could probably get away with a lot of this. >> Is necrophilia bad or just unethical? >> I think it's both. >> Curiosity for the the the clarity of this. When you say visibly buff, are you talking about like uh capably strong or like striations in your muscles aka lean enough for you to >> he'll do it all. >> My top end of what I consider too muscular to be attractive is a very very high bar. >> Hulk Hogan if that if Hulk Hogan was a lady >> had a vagina. We need Yeah, we need we need to Hulk Hogan with a ████ versus Sydney Sweeny with a dick. We need to bring that back. >> We just did that last night. >> Over the years has crossed a lot. >> You're down with Hulk Hogan with a ████ >> in high [laughter] school. I think I like the soft look, you know, like they're just like skinny fat. They don't
1:41 really have any like, you know, muscle tone at all. They're just like genetically slender. Then uh I think maybe like in [clears throat] early college I started to like Sports Illustrated look where it's like they have the line down the tummy and then you can tell they they work out whether it's yoga or pilates or whatever toned >> and then it got more towards um maybe like a slightly explosive athlete look. >> You could squat 1.5 >> now I'm all the way to like CrossFit girl and then that's my limit. >> So you're not rugby girl yet. I like leanness though. >> So I like I like being lean and then then if you start going into like like the figure divisions that's too much. >> You don't like like Macho Man Randy Savage with a ████ >> I bet you still have a common denominator that all of them with a high ponytail is still nice. >> Oh, are you a ponytail man?
2:31 >> I love >> high ponytail workouts. >> How about shehulk buff? >> That's already pass. >> That's not a real thing. >> But I mean you could still be horny for it. Which drawings of She-Hulk? Cuz some of them she could ████ get it. What about the show? >> The Disney Plus She-Haul. >> Kind of nice. >> Leftist Too much left ████ Yeah, I hated it. >> What are your guys' limits? >> Like how buff >> I'm actually interested because you guys aren't really into fitness. What are your guys? >> Excuse me. Squats. >> Even just 225 for two, bro. >> If you're not on the low, bro. >> I'd be interested in someone like Jared's size. If a girl was like Jared's [laughter] What's up, bro? >> No, I'm just paying attention. That's the ████ right there. Jared size. >> If a girl If a girl was like Jared's size, I'll be interested, too. Why not?
3:21 Yeah, cuz if she can pick me up, that'll be kind of cool. >> Wow, you got a big meter. >> All right. >> Jared size with long hair and pigtails. >> Yeah, but I got to look like a girl. >> How about you? >> Oh, got to look like a girl. Okay, thanks for clarifying. [snorts] >> Don't ████ >> I've never uh I don't know if I've ever like thought about like a buff limit. I think for me, I'm gonna be completely uh um shallow with this. I think there's a height limit for me. I think if a >> Wait, wait, in which direction? >> I know. I think if a girl's taller than me, >> then he loves it. >> Then then that's different because if she's like really buff and she's taller than me, now I'm like now I'm facing a different behemoth of an animal. >> Um but that's for me. >> Well, what do you think they invented facing for, ████ >> Still do Little Spoon. I love Little Spoon. I don't give a ████ Right. But the point is, if if they're like really really insanely buff or anything like that, but they're not like literally bigger than me,
4:12 >> then if anything, that's probably just going to inspire me to try and get more buff. >> So for you, if they're taller than you, then more natural if it would be like a runway model, where she's taller than you, but then she's still slender. >> She's still on heroin, so it's all good. [snorts] [laughter] >> Uh I mean, also on cocaine to get the energy to do the runway thing, >> get it back. Yeah. >> So I have two things two things to say about that. Back in the day when I was like less confident in my swag, women who are physically in all dimensions bigger than me intimidated me too much for me to say yes. At this point, I have like too much of an ego and I need to be ████ clipped down to size. And mommy can absolutely clip me down to size anytime. So the giant ████ 100% could get it. Here's another thing. Here's another thing. I don't mean this the following as a joke. >> Is it? >> You tell me after I say it. You got to wonder about the guys that
5:03 are like, "No way, man. No buff jokes. I'm not gay, dude. That's me." And they really Hold up. Oh, careful. Okay. Okay. Careful. Careful, boys. [laughter] >> If you really go out of your way to talk about how feminine your girls have to be. And I mean, nobody even asks. You're like, "Hey, soft be like Barbie brother. That's me." >> What is it that you are hiding? And I got news for you. You think I'm a latent homosexual? >> Gay? Not latent. No. My god, you're just a homosexual. And in 2025, there's not a goddamn thing wrong with that. >> It's a hard way to find out >> wrong with it. >> Yeah. Now, but now you know. >> All right. I was like the girly girls. That was always my ████ >> There you go. Doing your ████ again. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Girly girls are kind of sick. >> Girly girls are great. All girls are great. >> Here's a real question. I heard girls who got loose ass looseies when they get ripped and buff that end up becoming sunk. [laughter]
5:53 >> Who told you that? >> I thought I heard of that. >> That's like a four. I heard that somewhere. [laughter] >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What >> is that true? Can >> absolutely not. >> No, there's no way to train. >> I want the science. >> What about keigull? You ever heard about keigull? >> Never mind. I take it back. >> Thank you. >> What does that have to do with lifting weights? >> Your hip structure and know it has nothing to do with getting >> you can't do squats where your ████ do. >> No, it's all to do with >> I thought you have a PhD. You don't know about this. >> My PhD is fake. I thought we covered this earlier. >> I think we need a second dissertation on >> Can it be another rough draft? On a serious note though, on a serious note, real real talk, >> you can work out your it'll help work out your your muscles in there that if you're a lady and you're trying to get your man to screw up his pull out rule and get that money uh semen, then you can do the that when they squeeze and it makes you nut faster, you'll get better
6:43 at that. >> But the latent tightness of your vaginal wall does not change as far as we know training. You can do a significant amount of plastic surgery in that area. And uh >> you're going to need to when I'm done with it, brother. ████ >> Uh are you talking >> That's a Regal Keele. Rip it up. >> Hey, hey, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Was that a promise or a threat? >> This is This is a guarantee. >> Oh my god. Uh can we end on the podcast? Uh we have business. >> Told you I'm straight. >> Yes. Yes. But now you're going to prove it on me. >> ████ smiling at each other. >> You and I get done. We're smoking a cigarette. You're like, "Told you I was straight." I'm like, "Oh, [laughter] you sure? You sure proved it." Yeah. No, I wish, man. I wish cuz I actually No. Yeah, I really wish because I'm uh they used to call me Mr. Pinky in high school. No reference to my finger. Um my tiny dick. >> I beat his ass when he was naked a lot. It's small. [laughter]
7:34 Small. >> You uppercuted his dick so hard that he kept getting smaller. >> Pinky and the brain, huh? >> Yeah. Oh, yes. It's no brain. Really? Yeah. And um since my penis is insufficiently large to pleasure a woman, I would love it if I could encourage females that I'm associated with mostly parasoially by stalking them on Instagram that uh if they lifted enough weights that Mr. Dinky, as I call him, could fit in there and show them a good time. But unfortunately, that is not reality. And I've explored it substantially and it's not real. >> Damn. >> Damn. Cuz I thought bicep curls were going to make the ████ tighter. [laughter] >> She's like this. She's like, "Uh, racks the weight." And instead of like, instead of feeling her biceps in the mirror, she's like, "Uh, racks." Like, >> yeah. [snorts] The guy next to her is like, "What the >> is it tighter? Is it?" You know what I mean? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's the W? Hold up. What's What's this when you do this? What is that? >> How [laughter] soft? How soft it was
8:25 >> on the inside or the outside? >> Outside. >> It's more the location of his hand. He has to like do his >> Oh, pulling apart the curtains. >> He has to do his experiments this way. >> That was my question. It was a real question. That was a great question. >> Thank you. >> Million. >> I've always wondered. >> Yeah. >> I always wondered. >> Now you can sleep at night. >> Did you see how they do keigo exercises? They have a weight tied to a to a little stick and they put it in their ████ and they squeeze and they lift it. >> Yeah. >> That's crazy, man. So, you can pick up a dude by doing that type of >> I don't know about a dude, bro. It's like 10 lbs, man. >> What if the dude's 100 pound? >> You're not picking him up by >> That's a true powerlifter, you know. Okay. Honestly, there are some women that like I think the world record for Does somebody have the you have a laptop? >> I got you, bro. >> The world record for like lifting with the vagina is actually a lot. >> Oh, there it's actually a lot. >> There's a world over 50 lbs.
9:16 >> It might be, bro. It's some It's an amount that would shock you. That's what I know. >> I say it's in China somewhere. >> What is it? Oh, they do that ████ >> They be doing that ████ >> 31 lb. 31 ████ pounds. Nobody playing. >> That's a rice bag. >> You're not pulling out. That's the most racist ████ I've ever heard in my life. shaped object with weights attached to it inside of her ████ >> Yeah, dude. With 31 pounds of force, dude, that ████ is clamping your dick off, bro. It's so hot. >> Is it in China? >> Wa, she's Russian. That makes sense. >> Oh, not if it's pinky size. You can slither right out. >> Hey, friend. You want pain in your ████ You've got it. No problem. [laughter] Honey, >> why does the Guinness book not recognize this? >> Cuz it's Russia. It's like did like they don't Yeah, >> the record's not officially recognized by Guinness. I'm like, [laughter] >> wasn't certified. >> It's impressive. >> What? They didn't they didn't have the guy there measuring >> they like the like like the world record for throwing feathers in the air. They don't have this. This is pretty cool.
10:06 >> Yeah. So what record kind of keeping place needs to work on the record association? >> Yeah. It says it's unofficial. Yeah. >> Unofficial Keele. >> She shows up to Guinness headquarters like Okay. What are you going to demonstrate for us? She's like, "Okay, so this is going to take a little while to explain, but the human vagina can actually lift weights." So I go on. No, you know what? I take that back. The Guinness World Record book has some ████ weird records. It really does. That's what I'm saying. This Why isn't this in there? number of number of times you have had sex with a kangaroo consecutively in one day. >> What the >> It's 19. I'm the world record holder. >> They do have those record. >> I would have bet the ender. I would have to picked the ender. >> Kangaroos are aggressive. People don't know that. >> I didn't say it was easy. >> Yeah, that's true. That's fair. >> But they they look so much like people, don't they? >> Yeah, they look cute. >> Kangaroos. >> You see that one guy boxing one? >> Marupial? >> Cuz the the kangaroo was attacking his dog, so he went out and started boxing them. >> I thought he was going to throw a hook,
10:56 but instead he just slapped him. >> Yeah, >> it was nice. He was being courteous. >> I think it was a fist. >> I like that the kangaroo after it got slapped was kind of like taken a back. He was like, "The f███." >> Yeah, man. What? >> Nobody's ever done this to me. >> I just usually am ████ king king ████ out here. >> I usually fa I don't fo. >> Yeah. >> I think that uh I I like the the way Bart described the the female. I don't like them all yolked out and jacked out and stuff like that cuz I'm too straight. Not gay. >> Thanks. >> He likes some soft. >> Please clarify more. >> Oh. Uh I I I just don't like super low body fat. >> Oh. >> So like >> you like softer >> the same way. >> Yeah. I mean and what that looks like I don't know like competition bodybuilder look >> when they're on like when they're on like when they're on stage. I think that's too skinny. >> We have a friend who would describe the situation as 150 to 350. Line them up. >> Line them up. Marcos Rodriguez is our
11:47 friend. [laughter] Marcos is the ████ man. Marcos, you're the man. Marcos accepts all female bodies. And Marcos told me something that was super wise and I can't believe I'm repeating it on air, but >> honestly ladies, if you're listening to this, >> the attitude >> and the confidence you bring in the equation, >> true >> matters a s███████. Cuz yeah, being physically hot is really cool, >> but a lot of like >> 12year-old boys overvalue that ████ Like, oh my god, this one like magazine cover girl so hot. Yeah, what if she's in the sack like a dead fish and got dead eyes? Get out of my ████ bed, ████ I got ████ kids to feed. Get [clears throat] out of here. >> She's hot. She's hot, baby. >> You know what I'm saying? But if she wants it, if she's like giving you the eyes and she's like, "I puppy." I mean, I don't know why Latino there. >> Why'd she have Down syndrome? >> Uh, are you saying I look like I have Down syndrome? >> That's what you just did. >> I puppy.
12:37 >> Why wouldn't she? [laughter] I'm sorry. Well, you know, I was going to No, she >> I'm not yucking your yum, brother. That's your yum, not mine. >> You need to get unhinged. You got to let go. Something's holding you back, and we got to let it out. Okay. >> Let it out. >> If you have Down syndrome, but you are of Are they able to consent? What am I saying? >> That's true. Be careful. >> Isn't there that one fitness down syndrome girl and everyone in the comments like, "If she's down, I'm down." >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Are those videos ████ up? I can't tell. >> I can't tell. It's not cool. >> Question it, it becomes ████ up. That's ████ up. >> But people in the comments, I don't question the comments or question it. And I'm fine with it. >> Yeah. >> I'm with ████ of all sizes. But you're right about the attitude thing. It's big. And you got to be For me, it's funny. I like funny ████ Always did. >> Yeah. If you have something to prove, Mike really likes a butterface goddess. >> Nice. >> Are we really talking about that? >> Something to prove. I like that. >> Yeah.
13:28 >> I like buff girls. They just can't be skinny. >> Okay. Skinny or lean? >> Too lean and skinny. >> Both. >> Yeah. >> The best steak. >> Like marathon runners. >> Beep curtains. >> Too. No, not you're not a marathon runner. >> You like you a healthy ████ huh? You look like a ████ ass. >> Oh, now you're talking. >> My bad. >> Oh. Oh. What about the ████ who do the with the pole and their and then >> my my girlfriend in high school was a pole vter track bodies hot. >> You're talking about the seminal movie black poles white holes. >> Yeah, that's great. I've seen it. Yeah, I've seen the seventh one, too. >> Yes, the seventh one's really the best. They really hit their stride. Uh everything after 15 was uh derivative. >> Yeah. Better director. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]
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