0:05 Welcome back to another episode of Careful Boys. Since we got a couple parents in the room, you might be able to answer this with a little bit more of a deeper emotion than the rest of us, but the question I wanted to ask is, you guys know how when you're um I guess in our generation of Asian parenting, there was the what is it called? The old flex used to be my son is a lawyer, doctor, engineer, astronaut, or if you're Johnny Kim, all of them. And Yeah. [clears throat] now that you're a parent, what is the next generation of flex that you would be like maximum proud that your kid is this thing? >> My kid became rich pursuing their dreams. That general? Yeah, that'd be mine. That general? >> I flex or you think cuz I think I'm weird. Cuz I know you want Taika to be like the may No, no, no, that's that's my
0:56 personal. Oh, yeah. >> there's like general societies. Yes, yeah, that one. That one. >> And there's mine, but I cuz I think I'm a I'm outlier. Okay. >> So I think I care about things that the regular people don't care about. I think regular >> You definitely care about things regular people don't care about. But yeah, regular people, what they care about what it seems like now in our generation is how many accolades the kids can rack up so they can brag in conversations and on social media. So you'll see parents like >> Ain't that what Asian parents did in the past, too? >> Yeah, but now they do it with like cool stuff. Oh. My kid's in his gay ass piano recital. Now it's like, oh look at my kid, he's he won 50 medals at these jujitsu competitions or whatever. Oh, he's in a dunk contest, and you're like, is this for your kid or is this for you? >> Isn't that what you make Taika do, though? Jujitsu and basketball? He does
1:46 what he does. >> That's for you. Oh, he does what That's why he only he's only done two competitions. If it was up to me, he'd be doing competing every week, but it's up to him. >> he's like, "Papa, I want to do a piano recital." No, s███'s gay. No, but even that, like that's I I think like that's new gen the way Taika goes, "I don't want to play this no more. I want to do something else." You know like how he was playing ball hardcore, and then he's like, yeah, and then he's like, "I want to do something else." Like the fact that you let him is new gen to me. >> And yeah, and >> [laughter] >> Right? Cuz you're just stuck in it if you did it as a >> fact that we have a conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I let him know what the quitting point is. So when he went to when I put him in swimming, I'm like, "This what I really care about is your safety. I want to be able to be inside and if you're playing around in the backyard, you jump in [clears throat] the pool or somehow, you could swim out of it, right?" So I'm like, "Once I know you can confidently swim, you can quit anytime." Oh.
2:36 >> So we ended up doing swim classes, he ended up making the swim team, and then it was going like this, and I think most Asian tiger parents are like, "Oh ████ start competing, we're going to get ████ medals." He was like he's like, "You know what? Swimming is kind of boring. You're just like doing this the whole time back and forth." >> right. >> was like I was like, "Yeah, you know what? You're right." So we just pulled him out. >> [laughter] >> Cuz he cuz I know >> Once you could swim, it's like I'm going to be in a walking competition. Yeah, it's the wild You just keep walking. >> [laughter] >> You know what's worse is when you're swimming in a meet and you think you're ████ hauling ass, and then you look at like the ground and you see people just walking. >> [laughter] >> Oh, man. Like ████ this guy. He's setting the pace right now. But then I do fill up the time, so I'm like, well, with that time, like >> [laughter] >> idle and like rot your your your youth away. I'm like, "What do
3:27 you do during recess?" And he goes, "Oh, I play soccer every recess." I'm like, "Do you like soccer?" He goes, "Yeah." And that's why we put him in soccer. Wow, okay. Did you ever show him like because he got so good swimming, water polo? He sucks at swimming. Why you smiling? What's going on? What's going on? >> there. He went to Taika's first swimming competition. >> Oh, he's he sucks at swimming? >> He was like dead last. And then afterwards >> out. >> And then afterwards I asked him, he was like, "Oh, I didn't know that was a competition." >> Shut up. >> he really didn't know. I was like, "Why'd you swim so slow? I'm like, at practice, I saw you swim so fast." And then he's like, "Oh, that was a competition." I'm like, "Why are you wearing your team's thing like on your ████ Like why do you have your heat number with a sharpie on your forearm and know what lane you're >> No wonder our parents beat us. That's the exactly the ████ we probably not know he was in a competition. >> [laughter] >> I'm like, "When when else are you swimming from a dive block?"
4:17 >> That's some ADD ████ dude. That's some ████ ADD What I liked about the the swim meet is that Taika went with like six other kids. They finished and no offense, but this is just what happened. They finished way ahead of him. Like he was still in the pool for like maybe 30 more seconds. Just by himself. He was just like trying to make it, but I loved how he just came out and was like, "Yeah, I rocked that s███." >> [laughter] >> You know what I mean? Like he was just like, "Yeah, I did it. I was I was on my own time." He was like, "Yeah, it was good." And I was like, "Yeah, man, go get it, dude." [laughter] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did confidence. Okay. He didn't swim the right way. You know like when you're doing freestyle, it's like He was doing it his own stroke. >> your head is in the water, right? And then every single time you're like like that. His head was out of the water the whole time. And I'm like, "Since when do you ████ swim like that? What the hell?" Yeah,
5:08 you don't swim like that. Especially for speed, like you don't have your head out the water. I'm like, "What the hell's going on?" >> you do like a certain stroke, too, right? The competition, I thought it was a free for all today. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. >> We're just trying new ████ you know? >> We're just swimming at a new pool. What about for you, Anthony? If your daughter like what what would be the flex that you would enjoy very much? >> is I have no ████ idea any personality from this alien newborn yet. >> So like it's very difficult to I can only imagine, but I but I will say that what is ironic with the times today is I feel like our parents all wanted us to have like a certain type of etiquette back then, right? The the ability to like proactively know how to go up to somebody, like say hi to an elderly person, let them eat first, bow your head, or >> And then you say, "My parents said they want you to leave." >> [laughter]
5:59 >> But you know like I feel like that was so like they wanted it back then, and so you always had to do it, but you never liked it. Nowadays, I feel like the generation maybe won't force their kids as hard that it would be such a flex if your kid was like decidedly good at that. On their own accord. >> Yeah. They just chose to be like super respectful, you know, they were like looking at their younger cousins or whatever and choosing like be a good person and like wait for elders to eat before they like partook in some random stuff, chose to like ask permission even if they you were going to say yes anyway. If they could do that without being like coached to do that. >> See, all I'm saying all I'm saying that's what the flex would be cuz all I'm saying is I all of our parents hella wanted us to do that to the point where it's like it's always like, "Oh, say hi to your auntie. Do you remember auntie?" You don't remember auntie. He doesn't remember you. And you're just sitting
6:49 there you're just like I didn't even ████ say anything. Now you just want to ████ run away and play. >> would go, "Say hi to your Uncle Bart. Oh, Uncle Bart, hey, congrats on that black belt." >> [laughter] >> Or I'd be like, "Hey, make sure you go say hi." And she's already gone. I turn around, she's already ████ like saying hi to Uncle Bart. You know what I mean? It's just everything's just like cool. Like I feel like that would be a sick flex. That'll never happen with Taika. >> [laughter] >> Like 99.9% of kids. Yeah. I feel like we were all forced to Yes, yeah. And now it's like we we probably I assume in parenting you don't force as as much. >> Every time I get to my mom's or my aunt's house, my mom and dad would be like, "Oh, play piano for your relatives." I would come in already crying. You like jazz? >> [laughter] >> I would love I would love for for my kid to want to
7:40 play like piano or something. Yeah. Like choose to learn it cuz I know you know in today's parenting we want to be flexible, we want them to explore their curiosities. Yeah, right? But like if they chose those really traditional things that my parents maybe would have wanted us to be good at or care for. Dude, that's a really good one you picked, man. That's really good. Because it's not even based on accomplishment. It's just like you have a kid everyone loves to have around. Do you have any like dreams for them already like ready to go like, "Oh man, she's going to be a ████ gymnastics star, dog, like tennis star." >> I only have the anti-dream. I'm like, "Please don't be want to be a dancer for your career, please." Yeah. [laughter] A dancer. Look up to you and be like, "Dad, you did what?" >> Yeah, man. ████ famous. I'm going to ████ change the game, too. Yeah, she might end up like Bailey or something. I think we're all still super super in the world where like I could pull off
8:30 some nepotism type ████ and give some extra like, you know, or like know what to look out for so they're not walking into a ████ a grooming environment or some ████ you know? Dance with the devil. >> Let me ask you this, then. Let's say Jackson Wang had a daughter and and then ████ Mike Song had a daughter. All these people had daughters, they all wanted to start a girl group together, and they invited your daughter to be part of it. You would still be like, "I don't want this for you." A girl group for just dance or like an icon group? Yeah, icon group, yeah. But dance is part. And Jackson's daughter's a part of it. I'd be like, "F███ it, let's do it." That's gangster. Hell yeah, dude. And Mike Song's daughter. But she's the but Jackson's daughter's the worst one. >> [laughter] >> That's not the point. That's not the point. Like I said, it's it's the idea of like it's like it's like just choosing to live life and you're like you're like, "Hey, I want to play on hard mode. I want to play on god mode the whole time. If I get hit once, I'm
9:20 zero HP and have to start over." It's like why do that? >> But you don't but you you're okay with it? protected because it's your homies' girls, too, and then they're like and it's like if they went straight to the industry, it's like, "Oh ████ I don't know what the ████ going to happen." Okay, here here's the here's the bigger difference. If I were to really be honest about this. Number one, I think those wishes from like our generation our parents' generation is them being like, "We sacrificed everything, came here during the war. Like do something ████ good with your life because we'll never get that chance." >> I had that. So assuming assuming that we actually have done [laughter] something decent with our life, we won't I I I don't think I have to reflect the same version of pressure. Now it's more like, "Hey, like you don't have to worry about stuff because I did something with my life and you're more taken care of. You If anything, I'm going to give you a little bit more privilege of choice." She's like,
10:10 "I kind of like the idea of dry cleaning." Like what grandma and grandpa did? >> Your own family business. >> how they fantasize, like romanticize old jobs? >> [laughter] >> The good old days. I got I got nothing against any version of work. Like I don't give a ████ if you make diapers or if you pick up trash. Like if you're you're into it, you're skilled at it, you find a niche, and you make a ████ ton of success, go for it. If you're like a dry cleaning mogul and you have like 17 locations across three states and you're just raking it in, what am I going to say? But if you're just like doing a a difficult service hardcore work business and you're just getting by, I'm like, "What the ████ are you doing?" I just don't want my I just don't want my kid to be lazy. Like why did your grandparents come here, sacrifice everything, do that? We gave you everything for two generations and now you're doing that. How do you How do
11:00 you reverse engineer laziness in kids? Is there a way you think? >> I think there's two things you have to teach. One is helping them uh I don't want to say find a passion cuz I don't think that works. I think discover passions. So you have to do a lot of things to find out what the passion is. Cuz I think most people just sit on the couch, "I'm just waiting for my passion." Yeah. That never happens. You got to go out and do things millions of times and you're like, "Oh ████ I kind of like this." Right? Waiting for my inspiration. Let's go. That sounds like your white guy character from J.K. Films. >> [laughter] >> Virgil. Yeah, most people do that. They're just Um I haven't picked anything because um I don't know my passion hasn't called. Like your passion's not going to call, dude. The way he looks up. >> [laughter] >> And then the other thing is work ethic. So I think that's the hard part. I think that's why like sports or whatever and all that stuff kind of helps cuz then
11:51 you realize it's not really about the destination, it's really about the day-to-day grind. And then once you have you build that habit of the day-to-day grinding can apply to anything. So that's the two things I just want to be able to teach Taika. And then The third thing, TRT. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, steroids. And then having the right Buddha Buddhas all over the place. >> [laughter] >> The right Buddhas. The primary Buddhas. Multiple primary. >> I just hope I like my kid. Because the other option is I'm leaving them in boarding school in the UK or something. Oh, that's That's his destiny already. Joe's before having kids is just like, "Dude, I either like them or they're in boarding school." Yeah, that's it. Or you're staying with grandma and grandpa. You're not going to be with me. >> Have you guys run into any >> [laughter] >> I might like them. Have you run into any other parents in the world that truly you could tell they don't like their kid?
12:42 They don't Nobody wants to admit it, but I think some people don't ████ like their kids, dude. Here's a more nuanced one. Um here here's a more nuanced one cuz I think at the end of the day most parents like even if they dislike their kid, they still love them cuz it's like this primal thing. A more nuanced one that I do notice is there are people that want to have kids versus people that want to raise kids. Cuz you just see a lot of parents, they have this imagination of having kids, right? It's just like checking off a box, like graduating college, getting married, having kids. And then once they have them, you're like, "Oh wait, like it seems like it seems like you still care about your own personal or projects or whatever or your hustle and the kid is more of like a fill Yeah, you're filling the Like a
13:33 dog. Yeah, like a dog. >> Gay guys buy teacup poodles. >> Yeah. Yeah, like that. >> like oh, you really like you really wanted to have kids. Yeah. Some people look at look at it like that though. Yeah, sure. Or they approach parenting like that. Yeah. I want kids really bad and then if they're be if they're ████ nuisance, I want to abandon them really bad. What's the level for new What's the line for nuisance? What do they do in Where do they They ████ on themselves. All of them do that. What if you had a daughter and she's like, "I just want to be a tagger." The fact that she used the word tagger, she's out. Get the ████ out. >> Sorry, sweetheart. No toys. She can't be good. If you call it a tagger, you just Is that Shepard Fairey? >> toy. You're weak. >> Like that though. What if she becomes like that? >> It's all stencils only.
14:23 She's inspired by Shepard FAIREY AND BANKSY. SKILL. SHE'S LIKE, "DADDY, I WANT TO tag with watercolors." [laughter] Stencils.
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