0:00 [Music] the careful boys are ████ rich let's go we made more money is that from the super bowl oh yeah how much how much money let's talk about the winnings get out get this out of here look we've seen your losing ticket eight times already what does this say what does it say 320 the size of the stack so small we dropped it with it didn't have the same matching strippers i gotta make that in five minutes what's wrong with your bet the favorite heavily happy face how many you should have brought that one how much did you guys win per person i i think we understand because it was negative it was negative 309. it's negative money we lost money no no no so we each one like 300 bucks no no no so you put 200 we got like 130
0:51 or something like that you look like we made 100. what's the net on what we made four 130 pounds okay so gross three thirty eight nine one thousand one hundred two hundred three hundred four hundred five hundred and twenty six dollars five twenty six divided by five yeah you guys did it's a 105 they could give me a penny 105 and 20 cents guys that's pretty good so we made 20 dollars we made 105 dollars and 20 cents because we're getting our 200 initially back and then you got a tip i would have won 320 bucks on the 200. but what did you lose what did you tell the ████ guy at the book that you would have it was a grandma she was nice yeah and then she gave me a drink voucher i'm on a drink voucher okay she gave me a drink voucher and she's here's a huge ████ list of bets you said it
1:42 was like 50 pages she gave me the whole booklet right and you could bet on everything everything coin toss everything what what's the return on bidding on the coin test correctly it's ████ crazy what was it what was the return on your bet you don't even want to know man 320. you bet on the wrong one right so uh i think this is gonna be a tradition from now on where every super bowl i'm gonna bet the underdog and you guys just bet the favorite well sometimes we're going to bet the underdog too how about we brought batteries around the city this time maybe joe's underdog we bet on joe is there an underdog for the coin toss like that's not going dude heads or tails it's not 50-50 i'll bring the booklet from vegas we'll ████ do the buckles should we do like one dollar on every bet possible i'm just gonna copy pelosi on the super
2:32 bowl basket oh that's a great idea nancy who are you picking okay if i don't first if i bet the spread right i would have won if you bet the spread you would have won yeah because it was plus three yeah yeah i think you would have won yeah but you did explain that what's plus three i did outright because i wanted to win big don't talk about all the better jokes like getting carried out joe's entire life his book should be like what i would have had so the difference is three points because it was pointing to three oh i give my money yeah sure how much is it uh it's 105 to everybody you can keep my 20 cents as a fee are there any bets on like a cheerleader breaking her legs or something like from being being spun around i think so everybody has 305 305 we should bet like who during the
3:22 halftime show is going to be a meme because every halftime show there's going to be a meme bart only got 200. but the meme of the halftime show is definitely 50 cent yeah yeah yeah him hanging upside down the cool meme was the eminem kneeling but the hank upside down 50 was ████ funny get yourself a new pair of shoes sweetie yeah i don't know what to do with this one five dollars short what's the rest of it right here i was planning on um you know i was planning on going to the batman with you guys but nobody wants to see batman except for me and anthony so i want to oh ████ this is going to batman baby this is five gallons of gas right here pretty much dude okay speaking of that in la it's 5.50 right now like six and a half over at alameda by the um train station oh next to the uh crazy expensive next to the french dip place yes yes yes 650. in vegas it's like four right now yeah
4:12 yeah i i go uh flex fuel with e85 and i've never been happier how does that work is that a different price or yeah it's like 299. what what wait like my jeep grand cherokee takes e85 flex fuel yeah what's flex fuel flex fuel is like what is that corn oil or some ████ it's like not actual like regular gasoline can you make it at home no you use coconut oil no because you know some diesel fuels what they do is they go to the back of restaurants and all the old oil they'll take it and they filter it and they could just pump their diesel trucks with that kitchen oil no way no way to do it that sounds so shiny but it's free a lot of who has that much free time it's like joe's ████ smuggling operation it's the same type of thing but just like with less payouts yeah joe's like you take the oil you buy a plane you buy a restaurant open a chicken store
5:02 you get all the grease all the used fried chicken baby so how many miles per gallon they get on the e85 stuff well is it jeep grand cherokee so my miles aren't good i go from like 18 to 20 miles a gallon on the highway and then maybe like 14 to like 16 on like the the city yeah but because it's like three dollars to get a gallon and my tank is i think 20 gallons where i'm looking at like 60 to 65 to fill up on e85 but on regular i'm obviously looking at like 90 bucks to 100. do you lose horsepower is it like weaker it's a little bit weaker and the gas doesn't uh take as long but because of my normal commute schedule now and i'm not like driving like crazy stuff i'm like dude this is the way but but to get to the gas station do you waste a half a tank no okay you know how some people do that the like the asian moms be like oh i gotta go get costco gas it's cheaper but
5:53 it's like dude but that's like a 20-minute drive and you wait like 12 hours you sit in a parking lot you already waste a quarter take a gas doing the getting gas the super the super chinese fools i know they'll bring barrels so they'll go yeah is that legal one of my vietnamese homies back in his dad would bring barrels go there fill up the uh the car and then fill up barrels and so he has barrels of gas at home like the little red things are you talking about a giant a giant thing that he later puts into the red thing that's dope to put into his just makes you look like the unibomber when you do that yeah it's a fire hazard as ████ you leave there well they're asians so you know it's easy you know all right no threat are you guys ready for our next bag does that we gotta taste the action take my money go we're all excited here it has the biggest odds take your winnings and put it in it doesn't know what the bet is just take your winnings let's go do the right thing so here's what we're doing here's what we're doing whatever the biggest odds is i'm in on barons on barons and
6:44 there's a couple other places too you can bet on what the price of gas is going to be what's barron's to the moon seven dollars it's a really s█████ looking website is it price of gas by oil barrel is it price of gasoline oil barrel it is priced against by the barrel yeah yeah you nerd well it's because the gas prices fluctuate because every single gas station chooses their own you're just smart dude you're just smart oh damn we need to put four g's with a commodity broker to get in ████ this ████ that sounds like some stock option ████ have joe pay the commodity broker we'll pay place the bets how about we bet on some fights yo i'm down right all right what's the next fight saturday who's the underdog uh jorge mossfield he's the underdog he's the underdog what he's the guy that did the flying needles he's fighting colby covington it's gonna be a big fight time out have you ever been on fight i bet all the time do you what's your win ratio it's hard it's
7:35 really it's really hard i bet i'll say that i bet so answer the question i just felt the chill i've been three times on fights i lost two of them because part of it i'm asking the losing coach the losing coach right here no you're a champion you're a black belt champion sometimes sometimes it's hard because when you're betting with like the boys you're betting on like who you kind of want to win sometimes but when you're betting to like when you're trying to bet and to win you're making emotional bets yeah it's a lot it's a lot of ████ analysis and it can be kind of hard how much you're gonna bet you know it's like a hundred bucks on it who are you betting on for this one i'm not gonna touch this one but i think it'd be fun if we all kind of play a little did you say i'm not gonna touch this one but i think it'd be fun if we all touch this one wait what what what day what day yeah saturday the saturday ████ i won't be in vegas till sunday who's gonna be at vegas first i'll be the biggest no
8:26 you won't oh what are you filming oh ████ none of us never mind who's going to place the bed for us stupid idea stupid who's going to place the bat if no one's invaded we can all just better michael is michael invader yeah he's ████ adult you could do a bovada that's what i use you guys use bovada i should play poker on bovada is that on coinbase yeah people play roulette my buddies play roulette on bovada it's like a latvian uh betting site which is pretty bovada.lv how do you bet you live in california how the ████ are you betting illegally so you do it through bitcoin actually so you could like get paid out through bitcoin like it's crazy bro like this whole boy i actually learned about bitcoin through this website you're more dj than i thought you know i don't do it a lot i really don't i'm out of the game
9:17 no no no no i'm at the game i'm a little ████ bro so i only bet like a little bit here and there but back in the day i used to bet like 12 fight parlays the ████ does that mean so you're betting on exactly it's very similar to the yogurt no but it's uh you bet on say i want 12 fighters to win i pick those 12 fighters obviously for parlays you want to bet too much because then your odds get smaller and smaller but the payout is way higher so i used to bet like 10 bucks and bet like 12 fighters and sometimes i'll get really close and get like 500 for you know ten twenty bucks a little roulette table then but if you hit all twelve it's like killer pay and i i have i have like once or twice but then sometimes you'll get one decision that is kind of ████ up uh that didn't really go to the actual fighter and then you're like asked out today's video is brought to you by babel
10:08 all right when i was in high school i tried to learn espanol i failed miserably because the structure man the way the classes form you gotta use a textbook oh my god my eyes it sucks learning was not very fun and then when if it's not fun my brain resisted it yeah but what's awesome with babel which is a super popular app that has more than 10 million sold programs out there it's pretty freaking awesome because they have really really easy 15 minute lessons and it made it pretty fun for me yeah 15 minute quick lessons so they're bite-sized you're able to understand learn on the go developed by over a hundred language experts and they even have speech recognition technology so you can speak to it and it helps you with your enunciation this is the modern
11:00 way to learn a language and one of my favorite things is they have a 20-day money back guarantee so after learning for 20 days you're like man i still stupid you can get your money back but also with bible you have 14 different languages you could choose from from like spanish and german in italian go travel to europe baby yeah french bonjour right now save up to 60 off your subscription when you go to babble.com off the record that's b-a-b-b-e-l dot com slash off the record for up to 60 off your subscription babble your language for life we can't bet on this fight without you you're the one that knows everything yeah why are you not in the game what are you talking about you literally are just handing your you're handed money today robot dude
11:50 bart's such a bro romano who's gonna win this fight because i did the expert analysis on the rams i think it did an excellent job did i not do an incredible job there we were also like oh we're going to bed on rams because they're la like there was no i didn't say that you ████ i said you gave us the analysis aaron donald is gonna crush this ████ and what happened him dog crushes ████ a lot he crushed it a lot should have got mvp ████ cooper cup dude he's pretty sick though literally takes no skill about the heavy favorite anyway the point is is that what do you think's gonna happen i think the guy jorge monster doll is fighting uh colby covington golf muttons is that what they call them i don't know i just made it up okay i was like is that you i was like okay uh you're not allowed to give me ████ for the rest of the day but i think colby covington has a really
12:42 good shot at winning i think like 80 percent chance colby coming to my problem my problem is he sounds like a kid from my neighborhood that i could beat up and he kind of looks like it he kind of looks like he could beat him first and he's going to beat jorge maslow 80 i think so i think so just style-wise right especially when you're betting you have to take that into account for fighting it's like the fighting style of one individual how that matches up with a moment kobe covington if you guys don't know he is like a five round war machine uh jorge mazvidal is a one round michael jordan so that's why the style is so exciting because in one round this guy could make the crazy ████ ████ happen but if you don't make it out of that first round this guy will make your life a living hell for five rounds yeah like he will ████ you up so who are you guys baiting on well massive doll's underdog
13:32 and i like him so i bet on massive though part of me feels like there is room for an upset which one's the michael jordan guy mas vidal mosfido he's excited he'll do he's a michael jordan guy what's that mean like he can do like the craziest like three three minute hang time in the air type 300 books on michael [Laughter] he can do the ████ that like they're like oh my god that was ████ impossible right like that like the usain bolt sprinting and then looking at second place like smiling type of ████ um but if he doesn't do that in the first round then you got a guy that like makes your life a living hell i'ma be honest i'm gonna give you some pushback i think i think you're giving him a little too much credit cool wow
14:22 here's my favorite thing that he said he's a five-round war machine with those pauses i'm like whoa he's cutting the ████ correct promo that is correct yes right but the michael jordan yeah the one round michael jackson come on i just like them maybe i just like them dude yeah michael b jordan or what are we talking about b jordan dude give me michael b jordan on the fight who nailed that fight all right michael jordan with a twisted ankle you're just betting on the outcome of fruitvale station the more we're talking about it the more i feel like we should have been i'm like backtracking now is he coming in as killmonger no he's not unfortunately so then i don't know i don't know so who are you gonna bet on the one run michael j fox obviously what the ████ yeah i think i think i'm gonna bet on the other guy michael j fox yeah i think if i if i'm gonna win if i'm doing like steve analysis with the super bowl i think
15:13 smart money is for colby covington but the odds are probably too high on him for it to be worth it oh really so everyone thinks he's going to win he's the favorite i think he's like a plus like a minus 250 or something oh no ████ i barely know what that means so you got to bet uh 250 to 100 dollars you know what's interesting though is both of these guys are trump supporters oh interesting trump versus trump donald might actually show up and get a phone and call both of them give him a salute because both of them have been in their like winning interview like trump calls them and he they pick up like oh my god hey how's it going yeah i just won like they wear the magazines yeah like back when trump was president too so and he actually came to one of the fights to watch him fight and he was like there with the secret service and everything so we'll see dude every one of these ████ has a trump head on it's gonna be all like every ufc fighter ufc is kind of a trump spot i think
16:05 but i think i think for for jorge he's from his his parents are cuban he's from cuba so he's like very like republican anti-socialism you know hey that's i'm surprised they're not fighting at the trump tower you know what i mean but they don't have a stadium so i get it but they should use our room you know where the fight is where's the fight it's in vegas right yeah yeah they should fight where we ████ imagine if they fought where we yeah recorded jk news at probably wouldn't have a lot of ticket sales well we could watch online in the lobby intimate theater they probably would say no should've went to circus circus yeah yeah no what uh so i was gonna what was i gonna say oh yeah about um jorge have you seen him lose a fight before and how did he lose he's been knocked out it's like round two he only has the power in round one he's lost by decision
16:56 you know what i mean so i feel like style wise this is the tough way is this does he have quit in his i think so i don't think he has quit but it's just like the guy he's fighting himself but as far as like like if we're talking about sports betting there's no other sport that's more fun to bet than fights i think because that's so unpredictable especially in the u.s what about ping pong can we can we place bets on ping-pong there's this there's this one fight that just happened i don't even know who it is but uh he got socked in the orbital and his ████ eye came out what the ████ are you talking about i came out he's selling it like you could probably bet on a fight to end by a doctor stoppage so like an injury like that and you could probably get a really good payout that's a joe style bet look like
17:47 we're talking like cartoon now are we talking about guinness world record typo nah not too crazy it was like it just was it was just yeah it just kind of popped up i feel like it's back home to sit there and go i hope he gets taken into orbital dude yeah i hope there's a drastic injury to happen ████ oh there's a guinness world record wow all right so who we bet on them who's going to be you you pick me we'll bet who do you want are we going to yeah you have the bogota account we're going to send you money i'm going to send you money for the underdog for the underdog how how who do you want to win aside from odds like just like which fighter do you like i kind of want to see jorge win why because he likes trump more or cause he likes trump less he i think he likes trump more i think he's really about it okay that's how you're basing your back i think well that's a character the other guy is doing a ████ so check this out this guy colby cummington he was about he was he was
18:37 winning all his fights seven fight win streak the ufc was like hey you're too boring we're going to cut you because it all wins by decision and you're like you're beating you're you're you're beating the shell these all these guys you're making it look easy nobody really cares to watch you fight but the fight the night they told him like hey you're going to get cut he goes and fights in brazil he's fighting a brazilian guy a legend in brazil right after the fight ends he goes brazil you're a stinking dump you guys are all dogs and you guys are all trash he yells to the hole like and he's just talking ████ he's like i beat the ████ out of your brazilian life but yeah and people in brazil they don't play they ████ go to your hotel room they'll like other uh brazilian uh ufc fighters got in fights with him at the hotel after that fight so like he was getting death threats everywhere but he ████ those foes up too though because that'd be crazy nah
19:28 he was like stop chill chill chill chill and like it's a prank bro yeah yeah kind of he kind of he kind of pulled that's my character yeah but then he got really popular they kept him in the ufc and now he's headlining all now he does that every city he goes and that's his strength so so he does like the kind of like a corny professional wrestler stick but he's like trump this trump that and that's what he does now and he's very popular and he shows up with these hot chicks then when the cameras are off he's like doing harvard hands because he doesn't really want to he's a gentleman wow okay he's kind of like a fake he's really like doubly down on his character he's like it's interesting obama was my favorite president uh what i love about the ufc too is that like it's at staples right or it's at um t-mobile yeah t-mobile but they had they used to have about all the casinos but then dana white kept cleaning him out
20:18 because he's such a good blackjack player dude so then he would he would they would say like you can't play blackjack anymore we love you here we love you coming to our hotels we love you and he's like cool i'm pulling the ufc out ████ you yeah and so he basically can't go any to any hotels now he's going to the ████ t-mobile center because there's no gambling there yeah that's so crazy in my ████ grocery store for christ's sake he's that good at blackjack yeah because he just count cards he openly just counts it and he's all like spreading his bets really big because he's a ████ bazillionaire right so he's all like um i'mma pay the minimum and then when the count is favorable to me i'm just gonna raise it like a ████ and rake in like so he wins big and loses small he loses a lot he loses a lot but it's still small comparable to what he wins so yeah scary they call him advantage players it's not illegal you can't you can count cards it's not illegal okay
21:09 because you're just using your brain [Music] [Applause] [Music] you
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