0:00 Glad I'm not a mom. It's a It's way harder than running a business. >> [laughter] >> I like that instead of saying instead of saying than being a dad, it's running a business. Cuz business, you could beat like a ████ But kids, you can, but there's a lot of consequences. >> What are the consequences? They don't like you no more or they grow up to be big and strong and they kill you. Welcome back to a very special episode of Careful Boys. Today we have I mean you'll have to look beyond Nick the Ear. I know he's here. That's not what's special about today. Not special. The real deal is that we have Melissa Bono's back with us. >> HEY GUYS. >> [applause] >> WELCOME MELISSA. WELCOME TO VEGAS. I just called you Melissa. That's weird. >> weird. Bono's, welcome.
0:52 Woo! Bono's, she's back. So, uh how's life being famous now? Being famous? >> [laughter] >> What are you talking about? >> How often are you getting stopped in the streets? How many JK fans have stopped you? >> How does it feel to have surpassed like guys like Anthony as the new favorite of this channel? >> [laughter] >> You hold it together. No. I will say my dentist asked me if I'm on a podcast. So he's seen this before. So that was really awkward because he's like in my mouth. Well, and you're like, "Uh-huh." So that was weird. >> ask you that? Like why are you asking me right now? Why not before or after? >> I couldn't do that. COULDN'T DO THAT. WAS THIS A NEW DENTIST YOU GOT? YEAH, BUT he they're really good actually. I really like him. Want to drop their
1:42 their their name or you want to give them a shout out? >> [laughter] >> No. >> Yeah, give them some business. >> No, because sometimes they're so good you're like, "Oh, I'll see you like the next time." and you go try to make a point 6 months later. You're like, "F███, you're too good." >> No, no, it's not like that here. They're good. Was it before or after he asked you that at the if Anthony was gay? He asked you that, right? Oh, no, he didn't ask me that. We're not there yet. We're not there yet. Why would anybody need to ask that at this point? >> Dental hygienist asked him. They just know. >> [laughter] >> By the way, is Anthony gay? Off camera, off camera, Melissa was That was weird. Bono's, she was roasting the ████ out of Anthony Lee's UC Irvine picture. >> He needs his kung fu photo? Yeah, I have a I have I have Anthony's student ID on the screen here. I still don't think he knows this is up here. He doesn't know? >> see? He hasn't said anything. >> I didn't know who
2:32 >> he knew they were taking that picture. >> [laughter] >> He looks like he's a part of a Stephen Chow film. Do you think his hair parts down the middle? No, it's not. It's just the >> that was during the era where people were like spiking everything. >> Yeah, people would get like all around. Yeah, he's wearing a puka shells, too. >> But that's not spiked. His hair's not spiked there. >> Not split. >> It's just poofed. It's slicked back. >> Just there. >> [laughter] >> Default default settings. Woke up. Why does his face look like this? That's what I'm saying. >> He's He's being a goofy guy. I think he's like >> I think he's being a like a little clown. Oh, he's trying to be funny. I think he's a freshman here. Funny boy. Yeah, he was a very funny guy. But anyway, welcome Bono's. Thanks. It looks so cool in here. Thank you. Kudos to Smack and Ryan, but mostly Smack. Does it still feel like at home? In a way, does it feel like the old place? No, this doesn't feel anything
3:23 like the old place. Better? More Is it more cozy? >> It's not better, it's different. It's just different. >> like sitting on a couch instead of the tables? Yes. That is a lot better. >> Yeah, the couch is better, more comfortable. The mic's a little less comfortable. You don't like the mic? >> saying it feels different having it like Yeah. Yeah, the other setup I feel like it's more like we're hanging out and then something happens to be there. This one feels like you're more intentional trying to make a show. Yes, but I feel like this like circle of talking is better though. There's not They don't have cameras blocking you. I have to pretend that I see >> Because Bo- Bono's never really sits on the other seats. You have to like look through camera equipment to see the other person. Mhm. Yeah, the host and guest seat is probably the best seats cuz you get everyone and then you actually are the center of attention. Yeah.
4:13 Have you Have you been receiving any messages from any JK people ever? Are they ever like, "Hey, I like when you're on the show. You're cool." Anything like that? Or do you just block everything? I haven't checked my messages. >> You should not because No, cuz you're going to get dick pic. Watch out. Pull them up. Pull them up. >> Can I look through them first? No. Um but I was at my sister's wedding and someone recognized me from the show. So that was really cool. Did they want a picture? I asked for the picture cuz I was like, "That's so cool that you recognized me." Big [laughter] fans for pictures. Please Can I take a picture with you? Hey, were they like, "Oh my god, are you on the the show?" Yeah, they just said, "Oh, are you Have you ever been on JK?" And I was like, "Oh ████ yeah." cuz he was the He was part of the photographer team that was filming my sister's wedding. They were really good, too. Um so I sent the picture to Ryan and I was like, "Someone recognized me. That's so cute.
5:04 That's so cute." >> You guys the the photo you took looks more like you're a fan of him. >> [laughter] >> She's like >> [laughter] >> We should start doing that, dude. Like is that guy famous? Who's that? >> no shame. I was like, "Yeah, can you take a picture with me?" >> [laughter] >> As soon as we lock eyes and then we know that they they watch us, we should ask them for a picture before they could ask us for a picture. >> Take a picture with me. Command a picture. They're like, "I just had something on my Why were you? What the hell?" Give me a picture. We'll be like, "Hey, let's take a picture together, but on your phone." >> [laughter] >> What? Just so they can have it? Yeah. We'll be like obnoxious like that. No, it's for you. It's for you, man. >> [laughter] >> I don't want it. Put it as your wallpaper right now. They go, "What am I going to do with it? You take it. I don't know you." What else have you been up to besides coming here once a month?
5:55 What? That's your new shoot schedule, dude. Um my life is pretty boring. I'm just a mom. I don't do anything anymore. Your kids watch this going, "How dare you say it's boring?" Some people make it a whole career being a mom like on Instagram and stuff. And it seems like a lot of work. Yeah, it is a lot of work. >> I'm not a mom. It's a It's way harder than running a business. >> [laughter] >> I like that instead of saying instead of saying than being a dad, it's running a business. Cuz business, you could beat like a ████ But kids, you can, but there's a lot of consequences. What are the consequences? They don't like you no more or they grow up to be big and strong and they kill you. Those two options. Okay. Wow. And then humans, I guess like they're really hard to work with, but babies don't even know what you're
6:46 saying. That's hard. You know what's interesting? They understand so much more than I thought that they could. >> Oh. You learn that as a parent. Like when when it's different from Their cries are different. There are different cries. There are different Once they're like around one, I feel like that there are different cries versus like it's there's a cry where they need something versus a cry where they're just kind of whining. They need something, but it's not so like I'm not like I'm hungry. >> like a sarcastic one where he's like, "Where?" >> [clears throat] [laughter] >> With a shrug. I don't think he knows how to shrug yet. Are Is that the same between you and your husband? Can he tell or only you could tell? Yeah. I think he could tell. I think I could tell earlier um when he was younger, but I think we could both tell now. >> both look at each other and be like, "Diaper time." Well, cuz then there's
7:36 the babies who are crying where they like there's tears Their tears coming down, right? And then there's like the Like they you you're like looking at you. You're like, "All right, it's the attention." Wow. Yeah. So technically they still need you, but it's different than the actual like I'm sad and going through something. >> more like, "Attention." like that kind of Oh. Yeah. Cuz I think that shows how emotionally intelligent you guys are cuz between me and Gio, so Tyco will still cry cuz he's still eight. Like and he'll get frustrated. He maybe not ball out, but he'll like get frustrated or you just see him like not feeling good. And to me it all sounds the same, but Gio can tell if it's jet lag, if he's like hangry, something bad happened earlier during the day or it's the issue right now. For me, because I'm so literal, to me it's like the issue. I'm like, "Give me the ████ Legos. I'll ████ shoot you. You Why you crying over this ████ you ████ b████?" And then Gio's like,
8:27 "No, he had a Like Gio's had a He had a really bad day like 2 days ago or whatever whatever. This is manifesting right now cuz we're I'm like, "God damn, you're reading into all that stuff?" But it's cuz I'm emotionally unintelligent. So I just see what is happening right in front of me and I'm trying to fix this problem, but that's not even the problem. The problem could be he's jet lagged or this other thing. >> It's usually [laughter] jet lag. We just came back from Tokyo, dude. This baby's ████ tired. >> He was in Poland. But don't you think that if even if you can't tell what the different cries are, can't you just think about what his day looked like? That is more logical cuz if you think about >> Yeah. the whole day, you're like, "Oh, yeah, like this happened and that happened." >> make it logical. No, because to me I'm like, "Oh, obviously he's crying because of this thing." Like, "Oh, it's not going in." I'm like, "Well, have you just twisted it?" Oh, see. that? Do you
9:17 have to do Oh, I don't know. I'm like, "Whatever the hell thing is [laughter] doing." Very specific toy. I DON'T I DON'T HE'S ALL LIKE, "STOP, TYCO." HE'S TALKING TO HER CHILD. >> [laughter] >> That means something else, dude. Yeah, whatever he's doing the thing that he's doing >> [laughter] >> he couldn't do it. And I'm like, "Have you thought of adjusting it this way?" Oh, okay. So you're just looking at the current thing. So is that the same how you are with Gio, too, though? If she's upset about something, you're like, "What are you upset about right now?" >> [laughter] >> Yes. Yes, but she's 40 and and she has more vocabulary words. Oh. >> You know? So they can articulate more. When you're eight, you still don't have that many. You can't be like, "Oh, I'm frustrated, whatever." You know, like They can't go out of the time zones. >> [laughter] >> It's like, "It won't go in." And Bo is like, "I'll ████ SHOW YOU. SEE?"
10:09 >> [laughter] >> THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE fighting about all the time? Do you talk to uh your baby? Like, is it a thing where You know how some parents when they're raising kids, they want to talk to their baby like an adult? Yeah. Do you do that, too? I do. I do. I Sometimes I simplify things, but for the most part, I can just tell him and I actually over-explain things to him because he really does pick up a lot. That's what I was trying to say. Like, they understand so much more. What have you said that you were like surprised that he figured out? Like, algebra or something? I don't even understand algebra. I should not be explaining that to anybody. I had to take algebra twice. I passed with a C. Tight. >> [laughter] >> Big ups. It's pretty good. How How old How old your baby? How old your baby? He's 2 and 1/2. Dang. >> But I'll just I'll explain to him like why he can't do something. You know, like, you can't cross the street cuz
10:59 it's not safe because there are cars coming by. And he actually he he repeats all of it to me. Does he do it again? He Because he's a kid, there are times where he might, but you can also see that his brain is working where there are times where he thinks about going and he's like, "No, no cross the street." Wow. "No cross the street." And then the other night we he has his little Bluey, like stuffed animal, and he was telling Bluey he's like, "Bluey, no cross street without my mom." Yeah. >> cute. "It's not safe." He's passing on the lesson. Aw, that's really cute. I like it when kids tell you and regulate you as if you don't freaking know. They're like, [laughter] "You can't do" And they're like, "Oh, that's right. Thanks for the reminder, dude. Yeah." >> And you're the one that told them. No, no, no. No. You cannot do that.
11:49 It's so cute. If I like cough right now or I sneeze or I do something kind of kind of like that, he'll be like, "Are you okay, Mama?" I'm like, "Stop." >> with him? You're like, "No, this is it." No. No, that's so traumatic. I would never do that. >> do that to him when he sneezes or coughs? Are you like, "Are you sick?" Or like No, I don't do that, but I think there are times where I ask him if he's okay, maybe if he fell or something like that. So, I think he just picked it up from that. >> it up. >> Yeah. Does he understand sarcasm yet? No. Try it. I I don't think so. >> Explain it to him. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, you can totally CROSS THE STREET. >> [laughter] [gasps] >> I DON'T THINK WE'RE THERE YET. We're at How many times a day How many times a day do you do you prank your kid? Never. I don't prank my kid. >> Really? Joe, I'm concerned for you.
12:39 The blanket The blanket thing and you disappear. Oh, like like peekaboo? [laughter] Is peekaboo like a kid version of a prank? You don't do I got your nose? I got your nose. That's a popular one. >> Actually, I always say I'm I'm going to eat his feet. And he goes No, he loves me. He goes, "Haha." And he eats his own feet. >> Oh, before you can? Yeah. No, he shares them. That's cute. That's cute. I don't think it's just a Those feet are yummy. that thing. My mom used to prank the ████ out of me and my brother and she would die in tears laughing. >> What what kind of prank would your mom do? She likes scaring little kids and the facial like reaction they have right before they cry. She thinks it's hilarious, right? >> Right before they cry. Yeah, or if we do like or I was a runner as a kid. Like, I would just ████ disappear all the time. So, she goes, "All right." And then so she We're at the mall and then you know, I went ahead of her and then she she would just wait
13:30 at the end of the escalator and see what I do. And she would follow me and she's like, "Damn, it was a minute until you realized I wasn't even there." Cuz she liked to see me like look around and go, "Oh, ████ Where's Mom?" And then like right about when I'm about to cry, she appears. And then I got to go, "Oh my god, you're here." You know what's a good one you can do with your son that my mom did with me? She'd be like, "Hey, do you want to go to the store with me?" And I'd be like, "Yeah." She's like, "All right, go get your shoes." And then I go get my shoes, I come back and then SHE'S GONE. >> [laughter] >> THAT'S SO SAD. And at the time like I didn't get the joke. [laughter] So, I usually cry, but they would have a good old laugh. They'd have a big laugh. Do that to Nick when we're leaving for lunch. We should. He's traumatized. He always gets He doesn't like to get ditched. Go get your keys. I call you guys, [laughter] "Hey, where are you guys?" And getting ditched as a kid is pretty messed up. Pretty
14:20 funny. He's all ready to go. >> I think it builds independence and uh self-discipline. So, try that. The funniest thing is to see your reaction, but if she's already gone, she's in the car going, "That little piece of s███." >> [laughter] >> And it's usually a group of people. So, it's like my like a a whole a whole fun group, you know? Oh, man. So, then what when they get back, what are you doing? Uh I don't remember. Probably just crying a bunch. And they're not like, "Hey, what did you think What did you think of the big joke?" They don't like get feedback? No, no, no, no. I think they know it killed. They know. >> [laughter] >> Cuz they're laughing in the escalator or the elevator going down, you know? It's like a fun They've done that bit so many times. They just know. It just like, "Oh, it always kills." Do you have any like abandonment issues? Do you want to talk about it? >> know what that means. So. >> [laughter] >> At least they don't do it the reverse way where we're already at the store and they're like, "You want to go home?" >> [laughter] >> Huh? They just leave.
15:12 You have to find your way back? They do that in Japan, I think, don't they? With the small kids? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. First errand? The first errand. Yeah, it's a show. They don't leave them. They just make them go do stuff. >> four or five-ish. You run your first errand to go to 7-Eleven, grab some cigarettes or something? Cigarettes? Yeah, for dad or whatever. No, you just you just get something like fish. >> Like that's supposed to be better. Oh, it's for the dad. It's still cigarettes for the kid picking up cigarettes. [laughter] How do they buy cigarettes in You can do that at five? You have a note. You have a note. Before Uber Eats, there were Japanese toddlers and they just ran errands. Yeah. But everyone's in on it. >> Couriers. The whole country. It's culturally like that. >> When the kids like walking around, they know it's like, "Oh, is this your first like errand?" And then they'll be like, "Yeah." And then so grandma Everyone knows. Like, along the way they know like That's cute. They give them American Spirits and they go.
16:02 >> [laughter] >> They're unfiltered. That's why. That was my dad's favorite. >> They go to the store and then they'll be like, "All right, I'm picking up some cigarettes, some ecstasy, whatever it is >> [laughter] >> for dad." Low ketamine. Yeah. You just pick up ecstasy at the Japanese store? Yeah. And some FamilyMart. And a Playboy They're pretty chill over there.
// end of tape