0:00 If my mom showed up and was like, "I got to pee." I'd be like, "Yeah, why are you in Vegas? This is crazy." But yeah, come on in. Because my mom's not a Mavelian character. And you've experienced so much of that in your life that you know, >> you know, it's not about the >> It's not about the inching into your life. Oh, this is your room, huh? >> Why don't you ████ clean this? >> All right. So, this is kind of a messed up situation to some people. And to some people, maybe this person's being unreasonable. Check it out. So, we're helping this person. Reddit relationships. Our second favorite Reddit after Cuckled Psychology. My >> You looked at him for that. >> It was our favorite. >> You It's our favorite. >> This is from Glittering Dot4924. We're going to help you. Glittering dot. Don't worry about it. We got you.
0:50 >> Call her ████ Call her ████ right off the top. >> That's Joe's line. >> Okay. Okay. My bad. My boyfriend's mom invited herself along and hijacked our first international vacation and wants to plan our next trip. How do I set boundaries so this doesn't happen again? 25 female and then she's with a 24. >> How do all these couples go on all these trips in this economy? >> That's the real question. >> The ████ going on? >> My boyfriend, >> my boyfriend, >> they're so young. >> My boyfriend of three years, Tom, and I booked a trip to France back in January and have been looking forward to it ever since. Last month, his mom, 54, asked, that's her age, what hotel we were staying at. >> Just break up. >> I sent her the >> Just break up right away. >> I sent her the link saying, "Save it for your future trip." Like a cute thing to say, right? >> She immediately replies, "Booked for the same dates."
1:41 >> Why? >> Excuse me, what all caps? I asked Tom what the f this is all about. He tells me he did not all caps invite them. And then after talking to his family, it seems like they booked the trip a few days ago. So, it's non-refundable at this point for them. And he doesn't want to argue with his family. Sigh. A >> fast forward to the trip. The whole family is there. >> Oh my god. >> Same hotel. Instead of enjoying the vacation I'd planned, we spent it waiting around and eating at mid places. >> Oo, that's the worst part. >> Because of their dietary restrict. >> Oh my. >> You got to just do night shift vacation. You sleep during the day and then you go out and you go out at night. >> When Tom and I grabbed coffee alone one morning, his mom texted, "You went without us?" >> No ████ ████ >> Oh god, dude. >> So, I knew this one would hit you guys. >> Yeah, large trigger, dude.
2:31 >> This one's peeling layers of skin. >> Kind of sounds like my mom. >> I know. I asked Tom to set boundaries, but he thought it would be better to talk to them after the trip. He was also sick the first half, so I gave him some space, but by the end, we were stressed and snapping at each other. At the last dinner, his mom said, "Let's all go to Portugal next summer." >> Oh my. >> We exchanged a glance and then changed the subject. This was supposed to be a Europe European vacation together. Instead, it turned to a family vacation. I'm furious and honestly anxious about future vacations. What would be the best way for Tom to set boundaries? Break up. >> Dude, it's his ████ fault one million%. >> I don't get when guys >> I'm so annoyed by guys that can't talk to their parents, man. Like, >> protect your woman. What the ████ over your girl. That's so dumb. >> That's weird. >> That's it. See you guys.
3:21 >> See you guys on the next video, guys. >> Does that stem from like being a mama's boy forever? >> I think so. >> You grow up without >> I don't think so, though, cuz I'm a mega mama's boy. Like I I wasn't as much growing up, but as soon as dad passed, me and mom got crazy close. >> Yeah. >> And like I would easily just tell her like no, like that's not happening. But I don't know if that's a mama's boy in the same way because you can actually So I the way I see mama's boy in the bad way is like a devouring motheract helicopter or whatever they call >> relationship where she won't let go of the power. >> Oh no. Yeah, we don't have that. >> And and they're just constantly survile to their mother no matter what she does. So she can walk all over. >> Yeah. No. Yeah. >> It looks like he's dating the mom. >> No, >> but I consider I even had a podcast called Mama's Boy. >> Did your mom ever meddle in your gym business? >> No. She's >> She owned it too hard. >> Cuz I think a true mama's boy. >> Damn it. I'm not even a mama's boy. >> Your mom
4:11 >> Mom's going to be pissed when you see >> your mom has ████ TSA pre in your life. >> Yeah. >> Like everywhere she wants. >> She cuts every line. >> Yeah. She can call your car, call your work, call you whatever. She makes calls on everything. >> Oh, she doesn't do none of that. >> And she's like, you know, if you're dating a girl, she's like overly interviewing them and all kind of ████ >> No, none of that. So, for example, when me and Joe first started dating and then we moved out together for the first time, my mom uh demanded that she also gets a key to that house >> and she made it seem like that was just a thing that's supposed to happen. >> Automatic thing. >> Yeah. And I was like, "No way." And then she was appalled by it. Like, are you ████ serious? I'm like, "B████, this ain't your house. Let's go. We're both renting rooms from someone else." >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. I'm like, "This is crazy, dude." Like, are you on the ████ lease, dude? >> I feel like there's got to be a
5:01 different term then, cuz mama's boy means like the boy. >> Let it go. >> All right, >> let it go. >> You're not going to win this one, Mike. >> Jesus. >> Yeah, I got none of that. >> I don't want to be that. Nobody. >> No, you're not a mama's boy. >> No girls out there like, "Oh my ████ god, my boy's a mama's boy." >> No, they are. They are. They are. >> No, they're not, dude. >> I don't know what porn >> You know what you are? I >> I think you're just a good son. >> You're just a good son. There's good son, then there's mama's boy. And also a good mom too cuz >> No, mom is a good mom. >> Wouldn't ████ Your mom probably wouldn't do this ████ >> She would never have a great herself. If my mom ever overstepped one time, I would destroy her for Nikki. >> Yeah. My my my mom's like she would never. It's just like self-awareness of the mom to not do that. >> Cuz I also think it takes a bad mom to also be paired with a mama's boy. >> Yeah, I agree. >> But also too, like some families, they're so intershed with each other's lives where it's just like they'll just throw themselves in and it's like
5:51 totally fine. Like they don't even >> No, that's weird. See, I know our fans right now who >> busted. You're playing video games and stuff, but you're listening to me. >> Busted. >> Got you. >> I got you. But they feel this way about their family, like where they can't even do something without their family just cutting in or cutting them off and like basically inserting themselves into their relationship. >> Why did you move out, bro? What the ████ >> Cuz those moms are competitive >> with the girl taking the attention. >> She wants to be the girlfriend. >> Remember the clip of the of the um they were doing like a gender reveal thing, right? And the mom tackles the guy as soon as the color comes out. It's like blue. Who cares? But the the mom tackles the guy, her son. And then the girls just stand there like an ████ >> Yeah. >> And the mom's like hugging him so hard like making it all about her. >> And that I'll never forget that. >> That's a mama's husband and wife don't even get to interact. >> Those are like all those early like Ben
6:41 Stiller movies I feel like have that kind of like level of cringe. >> Awkward. >> Yeah. Yeah. Meet the Meet the ████ Yeah. Meet the parents. Yeah. >> Call them meet the parents. >> Yeah. Absolutely. >> Yep. Yeah, but if you don't have the confidence, you got to start with something small and set boundaries on the small things, whether even if it's just like grabbing lunch with your mom and then slowly build it up. That's what it took for me cuz I feel like as a kid, I was probably a true mama's boy where she just >> made me do whatever the ████ So, for example, in like the Chinese culture, >> if uh you're not the same last name as the grandparent, they call you outside grandkid. >> So, you're not even in the family. So technically like my dad's uh grandpa, I'm his grandson. My mom's dad, I'm like the ████ outside. I'm a snow pretty much. I'm a Jon Snow. >> They almost call you Yeah. Like in-law or bastard. >> Yeah. I'm like the bastard son, right?
7:31 So I us I almost have no duties to this family. >> And um when my grandpa passed away, my mom told me, "I want you to go to Taiwan with me and then we're going to pray eight hours a day for seven days straight." >> Um and I'm like, "All right." cuz I guess that's what I'm supposed to do, right? So, I just drop everything. I'll drop everything. I go do that. When I go there, it's just me and her. And I'm like, where are his actual grand kids? >> And then they're not even there. They're going, they're doing their own thing. So, I'm like, what the ████ So, like that was like the the start uh the slow, I guess, like breaking point where I started to have to set boundaries, >> realization. >> I'm like, this is crazy. Like, I'm not even technically his grandkid. And I'm fulfilling way more duties just because of you. because you feel guilty and then I have to live through your guilt to do whatever. >> But it took a lot. I I think the first
8:21 major thing was uh no, the first major thing was when me and Jill first lived together, we said I said no to the key. She finally was okay. Then one day randomly she shows up at me and Jill's place and we were sharing this house with like three other people. She I got to take a piss. I got to take a piss. I was I was in this neighborhood and I had to take a piss and I'm like nope you're not taking a piss inside. >> What? Oh, you're just randomly in this neighborhood that you need to ████ take a piss. I'm like, go to a ████ restaurant down the street. And then me and her got these ████ giant ass pee herself. >> So, what was she really trying to do? Just get in the house? >> Yeah, just spot. >> Yeah. I think it's like I don't know. Just like uh but see, but see the fact that Bart for Bart the answer is no. You're not going to piss? Whereas if my mom showed up and was like, I got to pee. I'd be like, yeah, why are you in Vegas? This is crazy. But yeah, come on in. Because my mom's not a Mavelian character. And you've experienced so much of that in your life that you know
9:12 it's not about the pain. >> It's not about the ████ >> about inching into your life. >> Oh, this is your room, huh? >> Why don't you ████ clean this ████ >> later? I'm like, I'll take you to ████ 7-Eleven right now. We'll go pee over there. >> Yeah. >> She's like, "Well, you won't even let your mom, your own ████ Chinese mom, pee in her house." >> Chinese. >> She's But she's she's juicing. >> Yeah, she's juicing. >> She She knows the game. >> Change at all if she was like, "I have to ████ so bad. >> I'm sorry, Mom. >> Here's the bush." driving like Nick. >> She's she's driving like Nick. Like she's like in a Miata. She's like >> I'm like I'll set up I'll set up newspapers and no one could watch you and you ████ right here. But I'm so ████ sorry. I think I was like I don't know 23 and I'm like I can't be >> good for you. >> Like this 8-year-old that I think I am. >> Look away though, dude. See like >> literally manned up against your mom.
10:02 >> Till this day she still brings it up. Do you think did did she brings it up and she respects you for it or does she she respect you for it or what? >> Hey hey hey you did the right thing bro. >> Me and my mom are trying to heal and so we talk about a lot of past stuff >> but if we dig deep enough she'll be like man remember when he lived in Alhamra. You didn't let me pee. She was like and I just I had to pee like who does what kind of son doesn't let their mom pee in their own house. I'm like if you say it like that everyone's going to side with you but you got to talk about context. >> Yeah. Yeah. Okay. not really part of this, but out of my own curiosity, what was she like spying for? Is she like he only has one TV or what? Like what what would be in there that interests your mom because you know her? >> Um I don't So like she could actually be um what is it called? In the neighborhood doing her errands like seeing fortune tellers or ████ getting her back cracked or whatever,
10:52 whatever her ████ 626 duties are. Either one of those two. >> Yeah, she's going to get her back cracked where she's seeing fortune tellers. And I think in her mind she's probably like, "Oh, I got to pee." And there's probably something very local that she could have gone to, but I think she had such a like uh like ████ hold on me >> that she's like, "Oh, let me go to one of my >> perfect circumstance." >> Yeah. I'll go to my surf and ████ ████ on this house. >> Like not that evil, but like she has that much control. Like he's one of the things I can use. >> Yeah. Yeah. It's tight. >> But like Yeah. Like your mom obviously is a little bit different, but this story says >> this story says the entire family went on vacay. Not a brother, a sister, a cousin said like, "Hey man, let's let them have their day." >> That's crazy. >> That's true, >> right? Like none of them all of them are unselfaware. >> Everyone was like, "That's a great idea." >> Yeah. Yeah. Like let's ████
11:42 >> Well, that's why the husband's such he's such a loser. He's a loser. It's like >> to let the family, you ████ pansy, Tom. >> Hey, guess what, guys? You know what's fun? When we're not with you all the time. It's pretty fun. >> Yeah. We'll see you when we get back. >> Yeah. And I love you guys. >> Can't wait to see you at Turkey Day and and for a day and a half after. And then I'm peaceing. >> She's got to tell him straight up. We can't do this ████ again. >> Exactly. >> She's got to tell him like, if you're not going to do it, you have to set a hard boundary with your family or this is not going to work. >> Sometimes, unfortunately, women have to make you grow up a little bit and let you know. >> The fact that she has to do that, dude. I know. >> It's kind of like >> I don't love it. >> But the all these stories make me think of like all those movies and sitcoms where everyone hates their in-laws. >> Yeah. Like I'm not married obviously so I don't like have that but even people I dated like I never had that like animosity with in-laws. Most people are cool. >> He is 24 so I I want to give him the
12:32 benefit of the doubt of like he doesn't know yet. >> That was like roughly my age trying to figure it out. >> You can help him age him a little bit and be like hey this isn't cool. So he cuz he doesn't know yet >> cuz he's in that in between. He's like he's not he's still probably living at home a little bit. >> Frontal cortex or something. >> Yeah. Still not formed yet. >> Something like that. >> Mine's not either. >> But if she's just going on Reddit about it, she probably didn't solve the issue either. Duke th000%
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