0:00 How do they take it down? What do they do? >> Don't just break it and light it up on fire. That's obviously arson. >> That's the literal definition of it, >> right? >> So, what do you tell them? >> Go to the boba shop. >> Just listen to >> dump it with a bunch ofing alcohol. >> They have an electrical issue. >> Light that up. >> Now the boba spot's on fire. That's not [Music] All right, Suben. What do you What do you suggest I do if my partner begins to be violent towards me? >> Oh, just walk out. >> Suben solution. >> Walk out. >> Yeah. Yeah. If you're violent. >> But what if there's four there's three walls and then their only option to walk out is a door and then they're blocking
0:52 it. >> Yeah. >> And then they're going like this. >> Yeah. >> Dude, >> with brass knuckles. So, your partner is being >> smack. Smack is like, "You want a smack?" >> Like, if Smack is physically abusing me, how should how should I handle? >> Call the cops. >> No reception. He's in the basement. >> Oh my gosh. >> Okay. You know what? Jiu-jitsu then. >> I don't think Ryan knows jiu-jitsu. >> I don't know jiu-jitsu. >> Oh, I know what. Lay down, turn around, just put your pants down. >> What the heck? >> Butt in the air. And she's be like, "What are you doing?" and just start scooting back with your butt like that naked butt fresh. She's going hella scared. >> I think that is a good idea. All right. What should Joe and Hannah do if uh one of their employees is stealing from the register? >> Joel, you know what to do. Put the ring on the middle finger. Go down on your knees and pray. Be like,
1:43 "Please, >> stop stealing. Stop." [Laughter] >> Just pray. Pray. and just be like, "Please >> stop stealing. >> Please put it back before I beat your thank you." >> Okay, guys. >> No, >> I never had to beat an unemployee ever. >> No, you're in Hawaii, baby. >> Yeah, they're they're wonderful people. >> Okay. What What um what should Bart do if he's getting cancelled for saying a racial slur? >> I never say racial >> at a powerlifting competition. >> Everyone says racial swords at powerlifting. >> I would dye your hair. I would dye your hair and then uh just look completely different. >> You think just dyeing his hair would make it look completely different? >> They're not. So they just stop breaking >> instead of loose shirt. I would get tighter shirt.
2:34 >> I would try to look different. >> Yeah. What does that do? >> They're going to forget about you right away. >> Oh, really? Mhm. >> I won't stand out more. Like, wait, what the hell? Why does he have blonde hair? >> Yeah, they're not going to know. >> He said it's disguise. What what should um what should Joe and Hannah do if the if immigration believes that this is a fake marriage just for a green card? >> And then they try to deport her. >> Take take Joe first. What do you mean take Joe first? No, they're not trying to deport both. >> He's the one that was born here. >> The one that's American. >> He's the American one. >> Wait, what? What? What? >> No, that's what I'm saying. What should they do? >> Like I go in first so she she could run away. >> What do you mean like take me first? >> Take Joe, you go out there. Take me. Okay. But why would he's American one? >> Well, that's that's why that's why Joe, you make a distraction. Take me and start speaking Japanese.
3:25 >> And then that >> they're going to think that she's American. >> So she could run away. >> Don't let her talk. >> Yeah. So she goes away >> and you just come back with your passport. >> Take me. Take me. Please. >> They're going to run. >> I am a Japanese. They think she's just a white American girl. >> Yeah, >> dude. That's funny. >> Hannah, let's practice. Let's see. Let's hear your American accent. Ready? >> Hey, >> I'm an agent. >> Hey. >> All right. Take Joe. >> Just say, "I want a burger real bad." >> Yeah. Okay. There you go. Take Joe first. Create a distraction. Leave some time. Then Joe just comes back with his passport. >> Okay. That's a That's a pretty good idea. >> That's a good idea. I like that. I like that. >> All right. What should uh what should Bonus do if u people keep think she's Filipino? >> If people think she's Filipino, what should she do? How could you fix that? Because she's not
4:15 >> get a tattoo that would Filipino star. >> Wait, what? What the hell? >> But that she's trying to not be >> She's trying to not be. That's That's the opposite. >> You're trying to seal the deal there. >> Make the problem worse. >> How could she get rid of that situation? >> The Filipino look. >> Yeah, keep not the look. Just How do you get rid of people thinking you're Filipino? >> Maybe the haircut. >> The haircut? >> What is this? A Filipino haircut. >> Bangs. Bangs. Short ball. >> Dude, I'll look like I'm 12. >> Oh yeah. Chinese 12y old though. Chinese. Get the Chinese bob. Dude, >> stay away from the sun, too. Stay lighter. >> Have you ever had it? >> She's just going to look like Dora the Explorer. >> Yeah, but the Chinese Chinese got that fade, bro. >> The B. >> Okay. >> So, it's just just a Filipino haircut. Got it. >> That's pretty good. >> Maybe you switch up the haircut. That's what I would say. >> All right. Joe's having trouble getting it up in bed. What should he do?
5:06 >> That might be a real problem. >> It don't work. Having a hard time getting up or just the dingdong? >> Getting it up. >> Oh, the dingdong. >> Hard. >> Getting it up. >> Yeah. >> I need help. Sub. What are you gonna do? >> Keep staying soft the whole time. >> You know the liquor store, they sell those rhinoplastic surgery. Not rhinoplast. >> That's the nose. >> I know. >> Rhinoplastic surgery. >> The rhino pills. >> Oh, I never tried it. The gas station pills. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I've never tried the >> Spanish flies. >> I just see it. I just see it all. Do they still have them these days? >> They had like a mult multivitamin and it said like Spanish fly. There's like 5 10 supplements. >> Joel, start looking at the expiration date. That ████ all expired. No one's buying that ████ >> A lot of stuff. >> What should What should Bart do about uh his employees at the gym keep getting there late? How does he get them to show up on time? >> What do I do?
5:56 >> Honestly, with those kind of thing, I would send out an email. >> Yeah. >> And the email that's the most corporate ████ I've ever heard. >> And what would the email say? Not what I was expecting. >> Don't don't don't point at one dude, but as a whole team. >> That's such a nice boss. >> Corporate idea. >> What do you say the whole team? >> If you are late one more time, immediate fire. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. But what if someone is on his way to work and he's like, I'm already late. You know what? I'm not even going to open the gym today. ████ it. And he just goes home. >> Oh no. Then what we do? >> Mark's even more ████ >> What am I doing now? No one's even there. >> Y >> gym's closed. >> You call me. I'll pull up. ripping it. >> Oh, so you're just trying to secure your own job. >> No, >> I'm too busy. >> I'm too busy, man. >> I can't. >> No. >> What? What? What would you Okay. What's
6:46 the best way to do it? >> Yeah. If someone's late, you fire them just cuz they're late. >> Yeah. Cuz you can't fire them or else you have way less employees. >> What if they were like on time for like 2 years and then they were late one day? That's ████ up. >> Yeah. It's not fair for them if the other guy's been late five times. >> But what would you do if they're late? You want to know how I do it? But this is Suman Solutions. >> No. No. What's the question again? >> Yeah. Well, how do you get his employees to be there on time? >> Oh, be there on time. >> Cuz they're all coming in late randomly. >> What do you do? >> Constantly say there's going to be a gift. Whoever gets there first. >> So, they're going to camp out at like 3:00 a.m. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> So, there's no gift. Actually, >> there's no gift. >> I think that's only going to work once. They're going to keep They're only on tight for one thing. >> Oh, I got it. I got it. I got it.
7:36 There's a gift, right? >> Yeah. >> He loses money cuz he spends so much on gifts every day. >> They come early and then open it up and it says a letter. Don't be late. >> What? That's such a whack gift. But not everyone gets to open it. Don't be late. >> Don't be late. >> Or else dot dot dot dot dot dot. >> They don't even know what the consequence is. >> They don't or else you get a gift. the curiosity. >> They're like, I might make sure they're on time. >> I might get a raise. >> That's not bad. All right, Bonos is at work. Her boss keeps flirting with her. >> Oh my goodness. >> And it's very obvious he's attracted. What does she do about that? >> Start coming in dressing like him. >> Yeah, I would do that. >> And then what's
8:26 out? Act like him. >> Act like him. >> Act like him, too. >> Out loud in public. >> Oh, so just like flirt back. >> Yeah. No. Okay. >> No. Okay. >> Yeah. Like uh maybe not that. Hold on. But dress like him first. >> Okay. >> What does that do? >> Um >> you think it'll turn him off cuz he's like >> I ain't trying to ████ myself. >> What if he's obsessed with himself and it turns him on? >> Oh, he's narcissist. Yeah, >> dude. just quit. I don't even know what to tell you after that. >> That's crazy. >> Just quit. Huh? >> But what if she needs the job cuz she's like feeding like five kids and like her parents and then like >> unemployment. Jeez. >> Oh, good job. Good job. Yeah. Yeah. >> California.com is where you go to unemployment. >> DA.com. Yeah. >> Really? No. >> Are you sure? >> No, it's not where you go. But yeah, try it.
9:16 >> All right. J JK News needs a banger episode to get views really pumping. What should they do? We should all buy tickets to the Middle East. >> What? >> So, it's a JK adventure to Dubai or something? >> Oh, no. To where or where? >> Don't got to be Dubai. >> Oh, >> you want to go to war zones? >> ████ stupid, dude. >> And do what? >> Do not participate in the war. We're here to ask them questions. >> We're going to be journalists. >> Yeah. You know what happened to those journalists that went down there, right? >> It's not good. Well, when I say we get there, there's no We're not going there blind. We've got a whole plan. Yeah. >> Okay. What's the plan? >> We would hire PMC's. >> What's a PMC? >> Private military contractors >> to be our guard. >> No. >> Aren't those guys expensive >> to be on stensive? >> To be on standby. QRF, quick reaction
10:07 force. If something does happen, we give out our coordinates. Helicopter flyby shows the force. >> So, we got a high helicopter. >> Yes. Everything, >> bro. You know >> that news will hit a banger. That'll be a banger. >> You know, you know who has no beef with nobody? >> Who? >> Singapore. We go in there pretending like we're Singapore >> journalists. >> What? Yeah. And then we go in, we just wave that flag. They're not going to think we're American. Like >> we're Asian, you know? >> We look like Americans. >> We look like Singapore. >> They can't tell, dude. They never seen one of us. They're going to look at us and go like, I don't know what. >> They thought the Tik Tok CEO was Chinese. >> Yeah, that's true. >> Who's uh Okay. How do you fix the North? >> How do you fix the North and South Korea dilemma? How do you get them to have peace with each other? >> See, you're at the DMZ right now. >> Right now, you would ask >> Yeah. >> Kim Jong-un's mom to come out and then
10:59 you would ask whoever the South Korean president to come out. >> Not the mom. The South Korean president. >> The mom. >> Oh, the mom of the South. >> Mom of both sides. Okay. >> Sits down, >> right? Yeah. >> Together. >> Okay. Like we me everyone. Everyone following. I'm following up. >> Who can make the best kimchi? >> Okay. And then >> it's a kimchi office. >> Wait, who's the judge? Who's the judge? >> You know who the judges? >> Who? >> Donald Trump. >> What of kimchi? >> Oh, Donald Trump. >> White man likes kimchi. That means the kimchi is fired. >> But what if what if he doesn't like either one? >> One side wins. Now what happens? >> Yeah. What happens? Has to take over the whole the whole >> the whole world. >> Okay. So >> that escalated. South Korea's like, "We didn't want the whole >> If Kim Jong-un's mom wins." >> Yeah. >> Mhm.
11:49 >> Then that means North and South is combined under communism now. >> Sucks. >> But he says the whole world. So now they own Ukraine, too, and everything. >> Oh ████ >> Yeah. But you better make your best kimchi then. >> That's all I have to say. >> Make that ████ with MSG if you have. >> Imagine that's like determining who runs the world. It's a kimchi off. >> Damn. >> I kind of want to go to the kimchi off. See which one's the best, >> bro. And then there's three ways of doing the kimchi off. Three tests. Kimchi by itself. >> Yeah. Okay. >> Kimchi with rice. >> With rice. Okay. Cuz it does taste different. >> Let's add a little bit of flavor into it. Let's put some >> kalby in there. >> Kalby. Kimchi and rice. >> Wow. >> Final step. Kimchi ramen. >> Okay. Okay. >> Kimchi. >> Uh-huh.
12:40 >> What do you mean kimchi ramen? Where am I going with that? >> I'm down to eat all those. >> Yeah, but kimchi waiting in silence. >> That That combo looks great. >> All right. >> Okay, last one. >> World peace under kimchi. Here's the last one. And and this one better be a real answer. Okay, >> dude. Jesus. Real answer. >> All right. The boba shop next to Juni is starting to make too much money. Get way too many customers. >> Ji starts suffering. >> So what you need to do, you need to go to Khali >> and mar right. >> Okay? You know where? You know what? You know what kind of people are out there? >> Ghetto, >> right? >> Yeah. >> Give them a budget. >> Okay. >> Tell them how to take it down. >> How do they >> Do I go to the Micronian homies or the Tongans? >> No, not the Tongans. They're too big. They'll get caught. >> Wait, so what are you saying to How do they take it down? What do they do? >> Well, you give them a strategic plan,
13:31 right? Don't just break it and light it up on fire. That's obviously arson. >> That's the literal definition of it, >> right? Obviously our >> So what do you tell them? >> You go in the ventilation >> do jumbi cuz you have access to it. >> Pretend you're doing maintenance. Go through the ventilation. >> Go to the bubble shop. Find the electrical box. You just >> go to the electrical box. Only the skinniest guy comes down. Go to the electrical box. >> Dump it with bunch of ████ alcohol. Okay, >> they have an electrical issue. >> They have an electrical issue. Light that ████ up. Close it. >> Tongen dude zips up the skinny dude. Back in the ventilation back to June.
14:23 >> Okay, >> now the boba spot's on fire. >> Not too >> cuz obviously the other's arson. This one's arson. They move. >> I thought he was just going to make the power go out. >> I like this. >> Subin Solutions. >> Good episode of Subin Solutions. >> Oh my god. >> Don't do arson. Do arson.
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